


The boring life of Craig Tucker

by Punk_mit_Keks



Category: South Park
Genre: Canon Convergence, Coming of Age, Craig having laser eyesight, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Light Angst, M/M, Mention of Mental Health Issues, Romance, Swearing, at least I try with that, including canon events, south park typical humor
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-30
Updated: 2016-03-09
Packaged: 2018-05-04 06:00:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 24,151
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5323148
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Punk_mit_Keks/pseuds/Punk_mit_Keks
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It’s been three month since giant guinea pigs attacked his hometown and Craig Tucker thought he could get back to live his life as normal as possible. Of course Fortuna had other plans and he had not only to deal with puberty but to learn how to control his new powers that were going crazy. Living in a madhouse called South Park obviously made all of this even worse. And then there was but another thing, that little blonde boy Craig had been friends since 3rd grade was becoming cuter with every day.</p><p>I aged him up to 15, despite that I try to corporate some of the events from the show starting from episode 12-10. Coming of age Craig :)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I want boring back

**Author's Note:**

> I hope this wasn’t already done by someone?  
> Spoilers for season 12, 13, 14

He sat at the Principal’s office and flipped them off, but this time they let him went with it. It was the third time this week he sat at the office because he unintentional blew something up. He felt itchy and a tingling in his eyes again so he closed them. As if puberty wasn’t already cataclysmic enough. This was definitely something that didn’t happen to each boy his age.

“Mhkay” his guidance counselor started “Craig you know why we called you in again. You need to learn to control this, mhkay?! You can’t just walk around blowing up everything.”

And after a pause in silence he affirmed again “mhkay.”

After another while Principal Victoria said “Are you listening Craig?”

“Yeah” he cracked.

Oh god he hated his voice. His voice had always been somewhat nasally, but now with puberty hating on him it got rather croaky, sometimes breaking away in the middle of a word. He’s never been talkative anyway, but hearing his own voice made him want to punch someone. Like anything within this stupid town he hated so much. This was all Stan and those damn guys fault, but now he had to deal with the consequences alone. He hated those guys the most.

“The whole town is still really grateful since you saved us from the huge guinea pigs. We are trying as well as we can to help you cope with your new abilities. So, you can always come to us if you need a talk. And if there is anything we can do for you just tell us.”

Another moment of silence.

“Maybe we should talk to one of those pan flute bands, since they seem to know about this stuff?”

The boy in the blue jacket and a blue chullo didn’t respond to that. There was nothing in him that was content with talking to the pan flute bands ever again.

It all started at his 15th birthday. His grandmother gave him 100$ and he’d been sooo happy about it. Than Stan and those losers appeared and talked him into how easily he could double his capital. From that point on everything went downhill. They dressed as pan flute band and got stranded at Peru. What the fuck?! How was it even possible to strand in Peru? Seriously this whole town was mad! You couldn’t even spend one afternoon in peace without anything surrealistic happening. Being it giant Robot monsters, Cows or animal protectors going crazy. They even have had a rat post rumors at the Internet, everyone pretending to be Metrosexual or Latino or whatever. Fuck, his eyes shooting lasers wasn’t even the most ridiculous thing that was happening in this town. With that damn Metrosexual wave he had even swum, it was so embarrassing thinking about it again. So much for being the only normal kid in town.

Well at least he learned not to listen to douchebags trying to convince him into investing his money into something stupid. What bothersome circumstances just to learn such an easy lesson, it was sickening. Since then his life was filled with dodging the unfortunate clique and any fad going viral within South Park, it wouldn’t last longer than a week anyway. Plain and boring, that was his plan for life.

Apparently that was too much to ask for.

“Come on Craig, you need to talk to us, otherwise we can’t help you.”

Craig sighed. Thinking about his anger with the world didn’t help at all with his eyes threatening to fail him again. He was afraid if he opened them up he might cast another lightning. His birthday has been three month ago, but the real problem started only last week. Something must have changed during this one week and it certainly didn’t have anything to do with puberty. Nearly every day his vision turned blue by now. Fate just hated him, didn’t it?

He sighed again, trying to calm down. Still not knowing what to answer he slowly opened his eyes.

He looked at the principle and shrugged. “Whatever.”

 

***

Back home his dad sat down with him for a talk that was as unwelcome as it was unhelpful. It was apparent how he didn’t really care for Craigs health but mocked about all the money he lost because of the repairs. Roundup he basically said for Craig to stop streaming lasers. Solution founded by a mastermind. Once the conversation was over he went upstairs, his mobile in his hand.

>>wassup dude? <<

>>trying to do homework <<

>>wanna hang out? <<

>>okay <<

 

It didn’t take long for the blonde to reach at Craigs room. He was sitting on his bed with his guinea pig Stripe looking at him. For some reason Stripe hadn’t changed after all that Peru crap. He talked back to him with his squeezed voice like he always did. He followed Craig around when he went through his room and kept his Owner company. Stripe was the only thing Craig didn’t hate even after giant guinea pigs attacked his hometown.

“Hey dude“, he heard the familiar voice.

“Hi”

Tweek sat down at the ground beside his bed. His voice was soft, how it had always been, besides his occurring sudden outbursts of disconnected words and prayers that where meant as curses. He went through voice break two years ago so easily, it took not even a month for his voice to chance an octave down. He had a lot of speech training that helped with his stutter, especially since he joined the theater club. It made his voice to soften even more and he managed to speak totally smooth with a lot of great emphasis to his speech. That worked until something interrupted or startled him to whom he would automatically scream in a high pitched manner and go back to his stutter. And it was easy to startle Tweek.

“Jesus! C-Could you –ahrg– help me with-with math?”

“Sure”

Craig sat up and took out his own notebook; he then proceeded to sit next to Tweek so they could work together.

They were discussing the meaning of the parabolas vertex and how to calculate it. At least Craig tried to explain it in a way his friend would understand. Tweeks body kept trembling the whole time. He seemed to be very distressed by math, at least by quadratics. Craig hadn’t seen him in that bad condition in a while and he had to wonder if it really was the quadratics. He was yet not entirely sure what exactly caused his convulsions. If his friend really was a spaz or if it just was the coffee he drank like water, or if it was the ADHD like his parents always asserted. He never mentioned it and Craig didn’t care enough to actually ask. He has just always been this way, so why bother?

“GAH- Jesus!” he screamed again.

Craig kept talking slowly and monotone, except of some changes in his range due to voice break. He still had to look up and worry about the horrified face his friend was making. His general nervousness definitely added up to his problem but when acting on stage Tweek never twitched like that.

Tweek shook his head, failing to concentrate at his homework.

“Hey, what’s wrong?”

“Gah – D-Dude, the -arhg- pressure!”

“We can take a break anytime, you know?” Craig reassured. He let his textbook slip off his lap, gaze still at Tweeks expression.

The blonde was tugging at his always ruffled hair pushing his knees up to his torso and leaned against them.

“C-Could you … li-like, like … not st-st-stare at me?!”

“Sorry.”

Craig straightened his head to look straightforward at his desk instead. Nonetheless he put a hand at Tweeks shoulder. Body contact helped, at least most of the time.

When Tweek had moments he freaked out he most definitely did bother. That was something different, seeing your best friend all messed up. When they were younger the most basic daily routines could overcharge him. He got better over the last couple of years, yet his button down shirt was never closed correctly. Why didn’t he just change to wearing sweaters instead?

Craig watched the view of his jacket hanging at his chair, the bunch of paper scattered at his desk. He also noticed two books from the library about astronomic lying there. One of them was overdue two days; he hadn’t finished reading that chapter about Jupiter’s moons, he was so captured in it he even forgot to extend the loan. He looked disinterested through his room, all while listening to Tweeks rushed breath and actually putting his full attention at the horribly trembling body next to him. He tried to rub his shoulder comforting, but the blonde didn’t seem to calm down one bit.

“Hey, it’s alright.”

“You … -ahrg-, y-you d-d - you d-did burn u-up the cafeteria!” he spluttered out.

Craig froze. He didn’t know how to react but then he took his hand off Tweeks back. They just sat there awkwardly.

Well, Shit.

That was the problem. Tweek was afraid of _him_.

Yet he still came over to hang out; Tweek must be either suicidally stupid or really brave.

Or just a really damn good best friend.

“Well, I didn’t burn down the whole cafeteria”, he tried to play it down.

Tweek sobbed.

“It’s be-been but-bu-but my place.”

Craig couldn’t deny that. It’s been the place Tweek always sat when they had lunch at the cafeteria. He bit down his lower lip, trying to figure out just what to say to soothe Tweek. He had no control over those laser beams shooting out his eyes. If he was brutally honest he was freaked out by these circumstances as well. However at this point there was no use in admitting this.

Crap.

It was coincidence Tweek didn’t sat at his place when it happened this noon. If he wouldn’t have run back to ask the food distribution whether those yellow bits in the curry were potatoes or pineapple (They really couldn’t tell the difference, not even from the taste. So, yeah, they all missed Chefs cookeries) it would most likely have hit him. And the seat didn’t really look that good after Craig’s sudden outburst in blue hit it. The smell of singed wood was in the air, the seat scorched, little blue flames slowly smothered.

Craig couldn’t even be mad at his friend; everyone would be terrified sheer by the thought of something like this happening to them.

“I- … uh.”

He sighed.

“I- … won’t stare at you anymore”, he finally managed to say.

Tweek nodded his head, eyes closed with what seemed to be tears in the corner.

“I- … uh!”

He felt like a Neanderthal, like he lost any ability to give words a logical meaning. The skill called language. Maybe even the skill called problem solving.

“Fuck”, he groaned.

Oh wait; he was a hormonal plagued, ignorant, cynical, immature dork in the middle of his puberty. His whole being was a problem. So, forget that problem solving part.

But man, why couldn’t there be a manual for problems like this? Seriously, everyone was going through adolescence at some point but there was still no tutorial for it. That sure was a market niche!

Yet, there most definitely won’t be a manual for how to deal with deadly laser beams stray out of your eyes.

“I’ll figure out how to control it. The past three month I’ve been pretty good, so … uh … it will be okay.”

He didn’t dare to look at Tweek, fixated his eyes at the ground.

Silence stretched time just like a black hole would do.

Finally the blonde whispered, “Okay.”


	2. breaking news: sucks to be you!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to my lovely girlfriend for beta reading <3

>>Token, Clyde, I need your help! <<

 

The three were lingering at Craigs back porch. Clyde lay on his back, watching the clouds, Craig seemed rather troubled and Tokens features were thoughtful. He had one hand at his beard stubbles, how he liked to call them, despite them being in fact really fuzzy.

“So, you hadn’t that problem over the past three month after the first incident?!”

Token had his last growth spurt just a month ago leaving him to be the tallest within their group at the moment. His traits sharpened into a keen face, his voice a nice bass, he didn’t even have acne. Puberty was so good to him. Craig wouldn’t admit, but he was envious of his friends getting through their difficult years so easily.

“What occurrence could have suddenly changed that?”

Token Holmes trying to deduct the case of Craig and dagger blue eyes. Craig scratched the back of his head.

“I don’t care”, he blurt out, “just help me get control over it.”

“And like”, Clyde rasped, at least one other person going through voice break as late as he did, “how should we do this? We can’t perform magic tricks.”

“Dunno!” Craig grunted. “Maybe you could train me or something?!”

“How?! You said you don’t know when and how it happens.” Clyde countered.

“Do you remember what it feels like? As if, can you tell before it’s going to happen? How do you feel then?” Token asked.

“uh.” Craig rubbed his neck again. “Like …”

He had no idea.

“Well, it … just … feels really odd. Like, my eyes tingle and my body gets tense. Dunno, man!”

“They tingle?”

“Uh-, it’s like a tickle or something. Like that feeling when your foot goes numb and then wakes up again.”

“So you can feel it swell up?”

Clyde broke into laughter.

“Shut up, we’re not talking about that body part!” Craig couldn’t help himself but shout.

“Classic guys, classic! My good friend does swell up and greets me every morning as well, thanks for asking” he grinned.

“Maybe we can work with that.”

“Token?!”

“Not what Clyde said. However if it does signalize itself beforehand you should observe that feeling and practice to provoke it.”

The first reasonable thought Craig heard within a week.

“However, we should go somewhere less fragile than somebody’s backyard.”

 

***

They made Craig sit down at a stub at Starks Pond. At this place they at least had enough water for whatever was going to combust this time.

“Okay, stay relaxed and think about how it felt the last time it happened.”

“Oh my god guys you sound so gay!”

“Not helpful Clyde!” Token commanded.

Craig sat there, watching the Pond and some clouds brushing by. He fumbled at this chullos laces pulling it tighter around his noirette hair and tried to remember what might have triggered his laser eyes in the cafeteria. The Curries ingredients tasted all the same, that’s why they couldn’t distinguish between potato and pineapple. They have had math before, but he was good in math and class went by as usual. At the desk behind were Tweek always sat Cartman and those assholes were shouting. Maybe it was this? Maybe his hate for those guys did leak through his eyes in this weird way.

Nothing happened.

He sat there, watching clouds, thinking about his hate for those guys. While his pals stayed silent, Clyde possibly also watching the sky and Craig was sure Token was watching something at his iPhone.

Shaking one foot he sat there, impatience growing. His body got somewhat heavy from the tension of just sitting and waiting. The more mass an object, the slower was time around it and he felt that physic law within his body’s every molecule.

Nothing happened.

Craigs groan interrupted the quiet.

“Maybe you need your eyes to go dead to get those pins and needles feeling?“ Clyde exclaimed in a bored manner.

“Oh, and how exactly does someone only let his eyes go to sleep?”

“Dunno. Should I try tickle them?”

“Still not funny, Clyde” Craig growled.

“The very first time it was when you’ve been in Peru and that guinea pig was there. Maybe it’s linked to those animals. Did you notice anything with Stripe?”

“That’s stupid. Those colossal Pigs had nothing to do with Stripe! Leave him out of this!”

The Noirette felt anger rising up inside him. This was all so ridiculous, sitting at a slough with two morons waiting for his shitty power to have the mercy to show up. As if he had nothing else to do in life. Like he wasn’t already troubled enough living in the capital of lunatic, trying to get his grades steady and having the fucking voice from Tweety from the Looney Tunes. Who came up with the stupid idea called puberty? Morning woods, growing hair everywhere, acne face and giggling foolishly at those magazines Kenny brought in the hallways seemed just as terrifying as the danger of roasting your friends any given moment.

“How is this even possible? Lightning coming out of somebodies eyes? Am I part of some stupid joke?!” he let his frustration went. His voice remained nasally and monotone, as if it was a sarcastic state, but it still was an emotional outburst, considering it was Craig who was talking. “Are we in science fiction now? What’s next, Visitors appearing again? Wouldn’t be the first time, though. Taking me with them ‘cause – whoa, dude – that guy has powers! And then I’ll end up with Stan and those assholes in space, like, yeah I love space, but not like this, alien abduction and dissection and anal probes and shit.”

He couldn’t remember the last time he let see through so many emotions. He normally was the calm guy who didn’t give any fucks. But man, he was mad. And he was surprised by himself.

“This town is totally mad, this is a nut house!”

He felt it, the prickle crawling over his skin, a tension building up. He wanted to yell. He wanted to kill with his stare. He clenched his fists, eyes widened, his eyesight went blue.

Yet nothing happened.

Fuck it!

 

***

On their way home The Noirette sighed buried in his blue Chullo. It still felt like bugs worming over his body, all he thought about was to take a shower.

“Did you calm down?” It was Tokens sincere voice.

“What do you think?!” another sigh.

“I think this whole situation is hilarious! Just consider you can take advantage of this.”

“How would that work, Clyde?”

“Like, you could blow up anything you want and say it was totally unintentional. You hate those guys, don’t you?! Let’s go and pay them back!” he wore a mischievous grin.

No bad Idea, but there was still an obvious problem.

“Yeah, yeah, except I still can’t control shit.”

“Don’t rush things.” Token reasoned, “It’s been only a week and you just started some sort of training. Be patient, dude.”

Craig huffed. He felt his eyes jitter so he closed them. His body seemed to be worn out, a strange sort of fatigue kicked in and made him feel heavy. The bugs were crawling up his head, under his eyelids, totally gross. He blinked his eyes, just then it happened. He felt the electricity rock through his head for an edged spark glittering out of his eye. Crap that hurt. The lightning struck to the ground with a short but audible spark.

“Ouch.”

The teenager rubbed his eye. His friends looked at him in disbelief.

“Bro, you’re scary!” Clyde exhaled.

“Duh!”


	3. stop being an oversensitive sissy, just think of all the people who got it worse

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My girlfriend actualy doesn't like the pairing, is there anybody out there willing to beta read for me? English grammar is so confusing @@

 

He heard them, the breaking news. He sat at the kitchen table, breakfast time, while his old men sat at the living room watching TV. The reporter’s frightened voice echoed of what he had witnessed. It had fur, it was gigantic and apparently it was a prisoner. Crap not that shit again.

Craig decided he didn’t hear the reports. He swallowed his Cereals and told himself how today was a total normal day like every other had been. He had a rasp inside his throat, had woken up to a boner, was grumpy all day, his acne was laughing at him and he was forced to leave his bed way too early to meet up and socialize with –uh– people, while slowly decompose out of boredom in the prison everybody got to go once they were guilty of being a not-adult. Just another normal day at being Craig Tucker.

Well at least it was Friday, the week’s best day after all! Red Racer was on TV on Fridays.

When he put on his shoes his eyes tickled but he chose to ignore it.

His mates greeted him on his way to school but he chose to ignore it.

His vision turned blue again but he chose to ignore it.

He burnt a hole into the chalkboard thus finally chose to go home.

 

It was a shitty day. At the television screen the news were demanding to be seen, exposing a city in panic of an unknown danger and announcing him the next catastrophe lying ahead.

“Nope”

He flicked to another channel. There was some time to kill before Red Racer would be on and because there was nothing good in that damn box he found advertisement more interesting than the latest show of the Kardashians or Adam Sandler doing whatever stupid he did this time. He thought about that new trend going viral at his school of singing like in Musicals and that shit. Just another short lasting fashion apparently inspired by that thing ‘High School Musical’.

Whatever.

Sitting around like a depressed moron, total normal day of a teenager.

He lowered his weight and let his body drop into the worn out couch in an attempt to pretend it was comfortable. When his eyes failed him during class today he heard screams and gasps, there was even a voice mentioning “so cool.” Well that person was wrong, it wasn’t cool at all. This burden placed itself on him without his consent. It was unwelcome, annoyingly faithless and just tiresome; simply it was a pain in the ass. He had no need for so much attention addressed at him and he had no need for anything supernatural turning his plain life into the plot of medusa looking into the mirror.

Also it was dangerous, but not in that adventurous way his classmates would be all hooked up with. It was rather daring because it demanded him to actually take action and to actually care for something and if this something was himself. To truthfully regard and investigate what was happening to _him_. He was changing, not only physically but also mentally and growing up tended to do this to people, but he didn’t want to be involved when it was happening. He had practiced to stay apart and to escape all opportunities to reflect at the personality and feelings that were successfully hidden behind banality of the past 15 years. There was no reason for him to be part of his changes when it was to interrupt his daily routine of ennui. Otherwise there was the possibility for him to find something more complex than boring and plain. Maybe, if he considered it and thought about it more deliberate, he knew there was more to him than all the fucks he didn’t have to give. Something beyond being apathetic and disillusioned and even though being dispassionate and cynical wasn’t that nice at all and it wasn’t something he was fond of since it left him detached from whatever else there was hiding, the thought that there even was something else hiding beneath made him feel a strange way of alarmed.

He felt his limps heavy again, his skin tight as if his bones thought about leaving but his body refused. His ribcage heaved and a brief moment he felt enlightened with the acceptance of ‘yes, this is me’, but this acknowledgment fled away, just as fast as it came, with his lungs’ air when he exhaled into a sigh.

‘Be patient, dude’ he remembered Tokens words. Well today he didn’t even try, he’d been just so fed up that he didn’t took any efforts into trying to control his weirdo eyes. There was still his stupid sense that the consequences of getting control over it could be worse than the consequences he already had to face.

His hands became cold and clam and his stomach twisted like someone baled it, his mind raced. Not because he was destroying school property nor his dads obvious disappointment, but because of Tweeks expression when it happened again this day.

There was no stopping his mind following the bread crumbs into the threatening forest where the trees’ eyes criticized his failure, every bush was incriminating him and every shadow was Tweeks face turning away from him. Just when he was spiraling down into his guilty feelings a doorbell startled him.

When he opened he instantly regretted that decision.

“Hi dude!”

“I’m not going to embarrass myself singing with you guys!” he snorted.

Those assholes where smiling at him, the whole fool trope that was: Stan, Kyle, Cartman and oh, nope, Kenny was missing for some reason.

Puberty smashed them obviously, but they stayed the same assholes they’ve always been. Cartman got even fatter, he was happy the fat boy had more acne than he had, he ventured this little redemption. Kyle was blessed with acne as well, also his nose grew even larger planted in the middle of his cheeky face. Only Stan’s face wasn’t cratered instead his back grew broad from his football training, girls for sure liked that.

“Nooo dude, wait, wait!” Cartman exposed “We have something even better in mind! We need you… to help us… getting revenge – aaat - the Jonas brothers!” he grinned like this was the best idea his fuckhead ever came up with.

Wait, what? Was the musical love already over? It became kind of hard keeping track of all those things happening in town, not that he would mind anyway.

“I don’t care.”

“But dude, you can totally blow them up! You just cast a lot of lightning at them. That’s going to be sooo awesome, dude! And then Kenny will return to normal again.”

“No.” he slammed the door.

Damn, he hated those guys!

“Oh, come on!” he heard Cartman scream from outside.

He flipped him off, even though the Fatass couldn’t see it through the door. Fifteen years old and still hadn’t learned from their mistakes. It seemed as if they didn’t even try to mature, still getting trapped in some ridiculous events.

He went back to the couch, Red Racer starting any minute when he noticed he had a message from Tweek.

>>Dude, you okay? <<

>>Y, sry 4 startling u again. <<

>>It’s not your fault. <<

>>kay <<, he wrote back, and after thinking it through for a while >>want 2 watch RR together? <<

>>okay <<

Tweek stayed over only for as long as the show went. And Craig had a hard time not to look at his friend. He was so used to follow each and every feature of Tweeks face so he would notice any uneasiness. He always stayed aware and alarmed about his friends’ physical signs of his mental state in case he would have to calm him down. Craig wasn’t even aware up until now just how aware of his friend he always was when they did hang out. However he had promised not to stare, since this was the only way he could protect Tweek from getting burned at the moment. He lacked concentration on his favorite show. Instead he speculated if it would reassure the blonde if he was to hold his hand.

 

***

 

Saturday, the second best day of the week, the Noirette stayed in his room. He locked himself the whole day listening to fall out boy, the Weeknd, and that one Taylor Swift Song he would never admit he liked, being alone and doing nothing. He masturbated mere out of habit than out of lust and proceeded to do nothing again. It was perfect. Plain and boring, just the way he liked it. He had not one accident during that day.

After a whole depressing week his hormones for once were kind and his mood shifted into being, well not happy, but content.

The next morning, that was two pm, he stood in front of the mirror inspecting his face. He refrained from popping his pimples like Clyde always did with his. He honestly didn’t understand why Clyde did that anyway, they always got infected and it was just totally gross. The first stubbles started spreading his upper lip. Soft like baby bird fuzz he detected while brushing through them. A fluffy beard was not at all attractive, so maybe he should shave it off till it got some more substantial? He grimaced hoping he would make himself laugh. The only reason to laugh would be to laugh down on him. Nonetheless he proceeded looking at his teeth to control they didn’t slant into a crooked position, clenching against each other or something. Jimmy and Kyle both had to wear bracelets and there would always get food stuck, not really tasty. Next on he was inspecting his eyes, most important daily routine since last week. Their elongated, hooded shape hadn’t changed since then. His icy blue iris was surrounded by a slightly darker ring and something grey lay within despite the arctic cold blue. That hadn’t changed as well. There were no sparks nor flames, not even a glow like he had seen in Damien’s eyes. Just ordinary human eyes.

Just when he was up to his first shave for some reason he was deemed to look out the window. And there he saw Stan and those assholes coming up their way to his house. Kenny was with them, so apparently he was ‘back to normal’, whatever that meant.

Shaving wasn’t an option anymore, in a rush he put on whatever clothes lay at the ground and sneaked out the backyard before those guys could detect him. He went to Starks Pond but since the pond wasn’t lonely on a Sunday afternoon he moved on to the woods.

‘Be patient, dude.’ Token echoed in his ears. Well if he didn’t try there was no chance of him getting better. So he sat down at a tree stub, for the first time in his life making an actual effort with trying to focus on his eyes. The last time he did he had felt bugs crawling up his body and face half the day. He wasn’t that fancy to feel that way again.

His thoughts wandered to Tweek and the way he argued with him when he had one of those moments. Like when he was too scared of drowning to enter the pool during swim class, or when he was too afraid to fall off his bicycle so he never used it, or when his acting skills where showing when he had to read out during one Literature period and everyone insisted on him joining drama class. Basically every time he had to try something new. Craig always said encouraging things like: at least try it. You’ve got nothing to lose. It will be okay. And you won’t get better not trying.

You won’t get better not trying.

A brief moment Craig wondered if this had ever hurt the blonde, if it was putting blame on him for not being enough.

However, he neither would get better not trying.

He breathed and watched the clouds. He felt a little breeze at his back and heard the sounds of silent woods. In the distance the noises of a street murmured as if it was gossip about Tokens new girlfriend. After a while he closed his eyes to focus on how his eyeballs felt. Drawing awareness towards himself out of another reason than boredom but with a goal in mind made him feel watched as absurd as it was. His shoulders twisted as if to shake of his discomfort and his bones and veins and his muscles again felt like they weren’t quite fitting inside his skin. And he would rip any other sunny day when he did something basic as picking up his backpack. His eyeballs were there somewhere inside his skull next to that sponge mass that called itself brain. He became pretty aware of them and it felt intense but not like anything electric or any lasers was about to happen. They felt just as alien as anything else he unjustified called his own body. And while his shoulders twisted a second time and his foot got impatient again his mind trailed off and wandered away from feeling the existence of meat to slide into something less physical but more frangible.

The image of Tweeks trembling figure flickered over his inner eyes and made him wonder about this week. Why weren’t Clyde or Token scared of him? That the Coffee Addict would be terrified was pretty obvious, he already had anxiety issues. However the other two seemed rather relaxed. Maybe they were already used to this crazy town, unlike himself who still got annoyed with everything. Maybe they were curious about where these obstacles would lead? Were his two close friends just such assholes and were secretly anticipating something like them landing in another dimension to happen? He wouldn’t forgive them if they were.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When going with South Parks canon storyline I decided to ignore the fact how Craig actually followed all of these trends xD°


	4. That’s all just inside your head

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I revised this chapter like 15 times and the length got out of hand and I got to cut it into two chapters and I'm suddenly totally insecure about this whole thing cause I noticed some logic fails within the chapters I've already prewritten but by now I just want to finally post it so I can post the other chapters and get my thoughts together to finish that thing (I'm currently stuck at chapter 9 and it will probably be at least 15 chapters long)  
> This ff is such a mess, and I feel like I'm trying to incorporate too many topics all at once and It's kinda stressful cause I have so many ideas on which direction I could take this but also yet no conclusion on how to finish it in the end and as said there are some logic fails and oh god I'm so sorry. I probably should write out the whole thing first and then revise it a million times before uploading it but whatever, it's just a ff and it's south park, it doesn't need to be that logical, right? Also I’m not so sure about my characterization of Tweek, but I figured I just go with it now, he will get some more credit in the later chapters, promise :)
> 
> so yeah, sorry for the rambling but also booyeah here finally is the next chapter. xD (also the next chapters coming up will be around this length)

As every Wednesday Craig sat in fifth line somewhere between empty seats at the aula when he decided those days were the third best days in week. That because Tweek had drama class on Wednesdays.

Ms. Streibel was already there once the students entered one after the other still chatting. The club was pretty chill. It always took some time for everyone to arrive, so they never started at schedule, but Mr. Streibel seemed unbothered. Every week there was the same procedure. Ten minutes after schedule, when presumably most people had arrived, just like right now, Mrs. Streibel would raise her voice to announce they would start with some short loosening-up exercise. This included something like speech training or improvisation.

This time however, Tweek wasn’t there. The last period beforehand they had different classes, he was in physics while Tweek had philosophy then. Normally they met at the hallway and went together to the aula. Most of the times that’s been coincidence; Craig never thought Tweek would wait for him at the hallway. There was Bebe or Kevin he could join if he disliked going those 30 meters alone so much.

>>Dude, Im already at the aula, where r u? << he texted.

They didn’t have their classes after lunch break together, but Craig had talked to him during their first two periods Literature, so he definitely had been in school today. And he just seemed fine then. Or, let’s say, normal. The pimples at his upper lips worn out skin he had since his first shave itched again but he had better to do then scratching.

The class finished their warm up training and prepared the stage. Still no sight of Tweek.

>>Whats up? u skip drama class 2day? <<

It was April and the drama class was rehearsing the last act now. Written by Jimmy the Script they’d chosen was hilarious. It was about two stupid sisters and that one’s boyfriend conspiring to kill their parents to get their inheritance a little bit earlier. Nevertheless the Parents parrot heard their plan and with that chance the parents plotted to backfire with pretending their death and haunt their kids. Clearly none of this worked out as intended leading to a lot of quarrel and the accidental murder of the boyfriend. The characters were just as cowardly and exaggerated as if they were citizens from South Park. And the plot involving angels, talking animals, ghost-boyfriend and a witch was just as fitting.

Tweek had to play the role of that boyfriend. That guy was a jerk and Tweek managed to play him out on stage as if he had been one himself his whole life. He was a total different person than.

Yet the blonde didn’t appear and Bebe neither had heard anything from him so the teacher had to read out his lines for the rehearsal. She did nowhere near as good, sure she was playing the role, but Tweek was living it.

>>Seriously Tweek, did something happen? <<

Craig left before the trial was over. There was no point in watching them repeat and repeat every scene over and over when Tweek wasn’t there. He called but Tweek didn’t answer his phone. Craig then walked through the hallway and entered the restroom just to look if that boy was somewhere there. You never knew.

There was still no message from his friend, something must have happened. Tweek loved theatre too much to play hooky, besides he was too reputable to do that anyway. Yeah, at first he needed a lot of persuading to actually join the class, but after the first lesson his whole face was shining with joy, telling the world he had found something that was just as terrific as coffee.

No Tweek at school. The noirette went home, considering he might directly go to Tweeks place, while not taking the junction he would have to take, if he was to do that.

>>Tweek<<

>>u alright? <<

Craig sat at his table reading that chapter about Jupiter’s moons but ignoring his homework. He must be such a nerd, avoiding his homework to study about space instead. He just thought a giant mass of gas, twelve times the size of earth spiraling with 67 moons, was some damn more interesting shit. Its gravity was so strong scientists were sure it saved us a lot of times from asteroids who otherwise would have crashed earth. In physics they were only calculating boring stuff like the amount of stopping distance when driving with 25 mph, 55 mph, 70 mph and so on. Well the teacher was pretty clever, knowing such things would come in hand with them being able to get their drivers licenses next year. Still that stuff was boring. Why not calculate Jupiter’s size, or his rotation speed, or his distance to earth?

A look at his clock revealed it was that time where nobody knew if it still was afternoon or already evening.

>> Tweekers, are you alright? <<

There finally he got an answer.

>> … No <<

>> Im there in a sec! <<

 

***

 

Craig stood awkwardly in the doorframe of Tweek's room. Something inside his chest ached. He felt his whole body caved out and hollow as if he had lost something mandatory. And it wasn’t coming back to him leaving his seams to crumble to dust. Like a little child that got lost in the mall. Helpless and abandoned. His heart dropped down inside his body into his left foot were it dried out next to all his lost fucks he never had given and his subconscious tried to lift it up again taking some of his long ignored feelings along with it and all of them carried the name Tweek. Was he even capable of calming him with the circumstances Tweek being afraid of _him_ now as well?

“Tweek, I’m here now... I’m here for you, okay?” he said while closing the door and waiting for an answer.

He glanced over Tweeks figure to get a grasp of how bad it was this time. His knees pulled up to his chin Tweek wobbled at his bed. He curled himself into a ball while his hand tucked at a fist full of his hair. Despite being always messy even at this moment his hair was really fluffy.

The boy didn’t even seem to realize Craig was there. His deserted stare was fixed somewhere in the nowhere and with a cold chill scrambling down his spine Craig remembered his worst days. When Tweeks stares were filled with terror as if he was wandering the edges of this world’s realism, while being intimidatingly sharp focused as if he knew exactly about what lay behind those boundaries and he was considering it might even was more promising and might even worth a try. Every time this happened he wondered just what was going on inside that boys head. If maybe his thoughts were racing some absurd theories about the opposition of reality down the rabbit hole, or if he was lost and trapped somewhere inside the untold infinity of his minds maze.

Since there came no answer Craig planted himself next to Tweek at his bed.

“I won’t look at you, so don’t worry about that, okay?”

He then did like said and looked at the wall. The blonde sobbed, but he didn’t say anything. Hell he didn’t even had any of his outbursts. He was so silent, trembled absent minded. With his heart still balled up somewhere inside his stomach Craig breathed sharply in and held it.

It had always been a pitiful image, all of his life pressed out of his excuse of a human being and poured all over the floor waiting to get mopped and refilled into another bucket that was called medication. When his stares wouldn’t wander but kill Craig expected Tweek to shatter any moment and whatever terrible was hidden in his minds dead-ends to get out, freak him out and make him unpredictable and maybe dangerous. Of course that never happened. Instead Tweek would suddenly jump out of his hypnosis in a prayer for his own mind to get back into his designated place between all the other socially trained zombies not to search for truth but to be the slaves of those boundaries in a world without salvation. Maybe there was no chance for a life without oppression for neither of them, if it was from society or insanity. Freedom was a word that was to be defined but not achieved.

Craig could hear a muffled “Jesus!” and his tension lessened as he finally let his breath out. Tweek was still there, somewhere here. And he was definitely not as bad as his worst days.

His worst days have been when they were around the age of twelve. And as much as it crushed Craigs lungs and guts to memorize it, it was long gone. Tweek had gotten better since then; in fact he had been doing well for almost a year. Almost a year.

He put his hand at Tweeks shoulder and felt him almost jump in surprise of the sudden realization that there was something real beside him. Something that was flesh and bones and the pathetic attempt to be something else than another threat to him.

“I’m there, okay?”

“C-Craig?”

“Yes.”

“Oh god!”

Tweeks answer was the sound of a sharp inhale when he closed his eyes and hid them with his hands. It wasn’t fair of him to sneak up in such a manner but what was he supposed to do? The blonde stayed inside his own world, neither reaching out nor changing his position. Craig listened to Tweeks hasted breathing and the little curses he whispered. And while he had gotten so much better over the last year yet Craig felt like he was nine again. When Tweek had a panic attack in front of him for the first time at their sleep over when he had forgotten his toothbrush. The noirette was overcharged in a way he thought he might get a panic attack as well. Tweek was babbling about how he would lose all of his teeth and choke and die when eating bread. He had felt just as useless and dumb as he did right now and the lump inside his throat almost made him choke.

When he couldn’t find a spare toothbrush back then and Tweek was about to freak out of the suggestion to not brush his teeth, they ended up going the whole way to Tweek’s place just to get his toothbrush. They were nine and walking down the streets alone and in the dark, but neither their parents seemed to care. At the contrary of Tweeks worries for them getting lost alone in the dark and then getting yelled at for forgetting something so crucial in the first place Mr. Tweak let them in and out without any questions, carefree offering them coffee. It was an old memory and even though the nostalgia of six years friendship and six years seeing Tweek shatter and rebuild himself made him feel sentimental and heavy, he reminded himself to stay focused on the things lying ahead.

With a soft sigh he put his chullo down and placed it at the bed.

“Can I hug you?”

It was the only thing Craig could come up with even when chances where high for it to make things worse. His own breathing cut inside his lungs of the grieve he felt of being that useless bag of bones he was; probably as helpful as looking at Mrs. Gollum when they were nine and got send to the nurse room. Fortunately Tweek loosened his grip around his knees and shifted nearer to Craig. Once he let his arms fall off his knees a small nod made his affirmation clear and the two inch taller boy slung his arms around the pitiful frame. Tweek shifted his legs and from awkwardly clinging a real hug emerged. However he stayed passive and let his arms just hang down fidgeting at his hemline still sobbing while Craig squeezed him. He let Tweek drop his head at his neck crook and stroke Tweeks back in what he was hoping a comforting manner.

“Jesus!”

Once they had interlocked into a comforting way they just sat there cuddling. Craig was looking around the already good memorized wall of Tweeks bedhead. There was a two year old poster of Terrance and Phillip still hanging and some photos stuck randomly at the wall. A big grinning Clyde whose arms position showed off it was a narcissistic selfie that was probably put there by him, and Craig dressed as a spaceman. There was a really pretty close up of Tweeks bird that passed away last year and Craig remembered how it took him several attempts to finally get that one perfect shot. And embarrassingly there was one picture of the two of them being dressed up as metrosexuals. They were dressed in pink matching clothes and smiled at the camera while holding hands. That fad lasted a whole ten days and Tweek was pretty content during that time. His twitching wasn’t that bad and his stutter not that apparent. Come to think about it, this was the first time Tweek was acting. So Craig could only suppose something from acting ironically calmed him down.

“I-I’m sorry” Tweek spluttered.

“Alright” Craig answered.

“You – I – I didn’t m-mean to…”

“It’s okay. There’s no need to be sorry.”

Craig thought about the pieces of shattered reality Tweek had allowed him to take a look at. When he told about his realization all of his comrades to been replaced by robots and trying to kill him, or his thoughts he wasn’t even alive but just trapped in surreal infinity. When they were thirteen he almost daily asked Craig personal questions only Craig Tucker would knew to verify he was indeed said Craig Tucker. The most terrifying wasn’t the things he thought about inside his head but the way he accepted without further questioning the likelihood of those ideas to be as granted as him to get his next coffee.

However those things also had been during his worst time. When they were fourteen Tweek got significantly better. Relief was so great there was no need to question the reasons behind it happening. Yet there was another thing he suddenly came to wonder about. Craig didn’t knew if therapy helped him to get rid of his nagging doubts or if he rather just silenced himself about those issues so he had a chance to life for another day before the robots would find out he knew…

Maybe he wasn’t getting better during that one year but just stopped to tell Craig in depth about his illusions and just got better in acting. Even during that year his stare into the distance sometimes became so terrified. Craig felt his goosebumps standing up again, his stomach twist and the mac n cheese he had at lunch turned over but the lump inside his throat didn’t let them pass. Since they tried to do math together it was apparent how Craigs’ circumstance made Tweeks condition to become worse again. Having a friend with uncontrollable killing machine eyes surely didn’t help with his already existing paranoia.

“Calm down.” He repeated, not sure if he said it to Tweek or himself.

Then again living in a crazy place called South Park who wouldn’t become insane? They all did in one way or another. So Tweek was really not the one to be blamed.

The blonde had stopped sobbing; it wasn’t much since his breath yet wasn’t going evenly. Nonetheless he put one arm around Craig loosely. He could feel him jitter against his chest. The boy let one of his hands wander up through Tweeks curly hair and caress his occiput. A flowery scent mixed with roasted coffee beans embraced his nose.

Craigs’ eyes wandered across Tweeks bed. He had two normal sized pillows and two smaller ones all scattered and wrinkled from last night’s sleep. There was a plush bunny between the pillows and the clock at his nightstand next to two empty cups of coffee revealed it was definitely evening by now.

“I-I’m - You’re a-always... and I’m just – ug –“ he wheezed “Sorry.”

“It’s okay, Tweek. I’m the one who is sorry.”

“Gah – what? No!” he gasped and Craig knew he wanted to gesture with his hands but he didn’t loosen his grip so Tweek had no chance but to stay within their hug. His disagreement was said with a lot of force and his hands that couldn’t fly around found his hemline again to fidget there.

“No! Jesus! Y-You don’t n-need to! I’m so- Jesus! I just don’t k-know, w-what… to –uh- I… oh god!”

“Hey, calm down first. Breathe!” Craigs voice was firm and monotone the way it always was and for some reason this helped.

And the blonde did as told, focused on his breath and inhaled long lastingly but shuddered the air out all at once. He filled his lungs with as much as was fitting and pressed it out repeatedly.

“Craig, my lungs –gah- are g-going to burst”

“No they won’t”

“But –“

“Just keep breathing.”

His breath slowly evened out, it still was heavy as if he was to drown, but got steady, controlled. Yet he wasn’t entirely calm, Craig could feel it in his little jitters and tensed muscles and he figured it was worth a try to distract him.

“I’m reading about Jupiter’s moons right now, you wanna hear?”

The blonde snuck a bit closer and Craig took that as affirmation.

“Well, Jupiter as our solar systems greatest planet has a pretty damn good gravitational field so he obtains 67 moons. The four biggest ones were already discovered in 1610 by Galileo Galilei, but I guess you already know that. But did you know that 33 of his moons are orbiting in the opposite direction as Jupiter spins himself? This indicates those were asteroids and Jupiter just captured them out of the sky when they were passing by. Well they were sucked into his orbit by the gravitational force. Who knows, Jupiter might catch some more moons over time, he seems to collect them. And the moons don’t even arrange their circle in sync. Their orbital period ranges from seven hours to three Earth years.”

His voice cracked due to a boys puberty problems once again but he kept talking, “Callisto is one of the big four and while he manages one orbit in 16 days his bro Io jogs around and greets him every 1,7 days. Callisto must feel like such an old man. Well, but the really old men doesn’t even have a nice name, his name is S/2003 J 2, poor guy, he’s the one who needs three years, and he’s also one of those that spin in the wrong direction. He’s also one of the smallest, wonder if his big bros even notice him or maybe they’re making fun of him?-”

“Craig, you a-are such a nerd!” Tweek interrupted and chuckled.

His breath was going steady now and he seemed calmed down. His stutter was back to its normal form, that was a good sign, also his body smoothed relaxed against his. He was pretty warm and his tremor decreased to a small unnoticeable quiver. He still kept his head at Craig’s neck crook and moved his hand to hover over Craig’s back feathery stroking. Tweek was always cautious with touching. Always tender when moving his hands over other people’s skin, it gave Craig some shivers and made the contact even more precious.

 


	5. Here’s mud in your eye or would you rather like to break a leg?

They were cuddling at Tweeks bed and the blonde had finally calmed down.

"I’m sorry to scare you.” Craig said.

Tweek squeaked, yet their hug persisted and his hand was lingering over Craigs back.

“You know, I started training.” he told him before Tweek could say anything. He had yet no explanation for what exactly had caused Tweeks anxious breakdown, even though he could guess. Right now he was calmed down so far and Craig wanted to tell him. Nonetheless he was a potential threat for Tweek and that was not okay. He had to do something about that, say something, anything.

“Training?”

“I said I’d get control over it, so I got Clyde and Token to train me.”

“oh” his voice was surprised yet somewhat cheerful. He drifted back into his thoughts; it was okay though, as he was pondering about the new information and not racing a hallucination. Also he kept his body controlled, his hand slowly stroking Craigs back.

“By now I can tell before it happens, so at least I can, like, warn people, you know?”

Craig had no idea what he wanted to say, there wasn’t that much that was actually progress and so he knew what words his brain was forming only the moment he heard himself talk. That was the best he could offer with his head a blank canvas and his hands clam and cold. He was afraid of Tweeks next outburst the moment he would realize the ongoing danger that was Craig. However it didn’t happen, instead he smoothed against Craig, warm and relaxed, and a single word dropped his lips.

“okay.”

“We went to Starks Pond. I’ve been there nearly daily and I’d focus on my eyes and then I kind of guessed it out.” Nonetheless he only told the positive things that happened. Not that it was still difficult, nor that it hurt. That he couldn’t conduct it himself. Nor the gross feeling of bugs creeping his skin.

“I had no accident in two days!”

“Jesus! Gah. Well, I heard at S-Sunday there was a fire at the woods.”

“yeah…” he slowly began and then burst out with his voice running fast but cracking in the middle higher pinched then usually, “it wasn’t me!”

Tweek snickered stopping his hand movement as long as he did and Craig smiled.

“nooo, it wasn’t you!” he responded ironically, “The f-flames only were blue.”

Craig hissed and Tweek snickered even more. The blonde had calmed down from before. There was no need for Craig to panic himself about Tweek and so he sighed without making any sound within.

“Token and Clyde must be terrible t-teacher.”

“yeah, you got it, it’s been their fault!” Craig fooled around.

On Sunday those guys weren’t even around. On top of that they were as good teachers as they could be since they were as clueless as he was. They went to Starks Pond with him and listened more or less patiently to Craig’s complains even after his accident on Sunday. On Monday he had tried to raise his anger once more and he felt a bit heavy and tingly but didn’t knew if it was just the apprehension or for real his powers. After a while of watching clouds and resisting scratching his legs and arms Clyde started to tickle him. Craig tried to shrug him off but Clyde was persistent and so it emerged into a tickle fight. Clyde was more ticklish than Craig and shorter on breath so the fight was pretty one sided even though Clyde huffed and screamed in between his laughers that he just _had_ to tickle Craig’s eyes. He laughed some arguments on why and how that would work but Craig managed to hold his wrists and keep his fingers away from his face far enough to not worry about suddenly getting them pocked into his orbs.

On Tuesday Clyde had brought some batteries saying Craig should charge himself. It was another verbal fight and Token reasoned him down while Craig deliberated the idea even though he knew it was stupid.

Craig felt Tweeks hand at his back confidently drawing circles bringing him back to the now. This was good. The blonde was able to make fun of the situation; he could almost feel how Tweeks face had brightened up and relief slacked Craig’s body. He felt so much better now himself. The life came back into his hands but that little piece of him that had left once he entered the room didn’t come back. Though maybe he wouldn’t need that piece anymore, maybe he was able to manage this himself. His heart was back at place and that was almost enough. Almost.

“Well that was Sunday, I said two days without accident.”

“Jesus!” Tweek erupted, before he asked, “does it hurt?”

“uh … a bit.” Craig admitted. Even though he actually didn’t want to tell each detail of the story when asked further by Tweek he would admit those points, just because it was Tweek. He never wanted to scare the blonde but hiding things from him would make it worse, that was for sure. Tweek was pretty observant with his questions, digging directly into the details.

“Oh. So you can tell w-when it will happen?”

“Yeah.”

“And you can hold it back?”

The blonde was pretty demanding, splatting out one question after the other and kind of always awaiting the answer he wanted to hear. For being not good in handling pressure he himself tended to create a lot of it.

“I’m working on that. It’s a bit difficult, I know before it will happen, but I don’t exactly know how long it will take from the moment I feel it ‘till it actually happens.”

“okay.” The blonde bit his under lip. “Uh– how d-does it feel?”

“My eyes tickle, like when your foot had fallen to sleep and then awakes. Sometimes my whole body tickles. And then it kinda gets more intense and the whole world turns blue, ‘cause my vision changes.”

“And t-then it h-happens?” Tweeks hand stopped again. His tension filled the atmosphere.

“uh- yeah.” Craig felt his arm muscles twitch.

“Jesus!” Tweek breathed audibly “So… d-does it t-tickle right now?”

“No.”

“So it’s save now?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay.”

The tension vanished into a sigh. Neither of them moved, except Tweeks hand petting him again and Craig’s that had never stopped. Those cuddly moments Craigs mind was occupied comforting Tweek only. He wouldn’t notice his muscles relax under Tweeks touch, his throat humming in a not audible purr and his lips curling into a smile.

There was a sense of peace in the atmosphere.

“Hey, Tweek.”

“Yeah?”

“Tell me why you like acting so much.”

“Huh?”

“How come you stop your stutter when acting? I would guess being on stage would make anybody nervous, but you’re just rocking your roles, it’s amazing.”

“Uh, thank you.” there was a pause, perhaps because Tweek was embarrassed. The question got him off guard and Craig could practically hear him pulling his thoughts together.

“Well, y-yeah, I was very anxious in the beginning. But, uh, when acting I can b-be another person.” He said while fumbling at his nail beds. “I get to forget Tweek Tweak a-and can be … like, someone totally different. And then I forget my n-nervousness, I forget the idea of someone stalking on me, that I need t-to keep running a-and, and the w-world to -, or...” he slowly breathed out in his way he did to make his body relax and stop his thought-train before it would crash somewhere.

“My fears, uh, the whole c-concept that is … me. ‘Cause I’m not Tweek at that moment.”

The concept of Tweek Tweak, huh? Craig would give his left foot to get a hold of the concept that was Tweek Tweak. It was a mystery that couldn’t get solved but got more complex within their five years of friendship. And even through it seemed dangerous and scaring to be able to get lost in one minds dead-ends and tricks, Tweek was like a gaze at the night sky. All those small lights taking evidence of something huge unimaginable hidden, somewhere out at his mentality’s expanse. Something Craig didn’t know and possibly never would have the chance to get to know. Yet it was luring to get explored, but concealed from any surveyors. Only the scattered gleams that where visible from Craigs boring standpoint somewhere on planet earth, proved infinity he would never reach. Yet the gaps between the stars were too wide and made it way too easy to get lost and forget about all the suns burning and galaxies circling.

“Instead I can try out what it would b-be alike if I wasn’t me. I get a break of being m-myself. To just stop my worries and all that stuff –uh- going on inside… and take a break from my own head.“

His explanation sounded so logical yet inexplicable. Craig didn’t know if he simply was too plain to get it or if Tweek was sitting somewhere inside his cosmos showing Craig a labyrinth he was yet to solve. All Craig could do was looking through that little telescope that was hiding so much and revealing only glimpses and wonder about all the lights hidden in the shadows his eyesight couldn’t reach.

“It’s funny, you know.” Tweek added thoughtfully. His voice changed into his soft fluent speaking he had when being conscious. “I get to forget about myself, but then again this whole thing helps me to get to know myself better. It’s so strange, I have no idea how this even works.”

“That sounds intense.” Craig commented due to a lack of actual words.

“It is!” Tweek drummed. “I get the chance to look at things from a different angle and when I’m back to being Tweek I can… reconsider who Tweek- who I actually am.”

Craig made an agreeing hum even though his brain couldn’t follow up. It was hard for him to get the idea of pretending to be someone else as a crutch to actually becoming someone else. Not only didn’t he understand the concept that was Tweek, neither did he understand the concept that was Craig. He never made the effort to actually even consider the concept of Craig Tucker. He was plain and ignorant, that was it.

“It feels so strange to be up at stage, Craig! Because none of that is real, it just is an act, but then again it is so fucking real. I am the one who makes it real, who makes it happen! And – God! It’s so strange.”

Craig knew how Tweek was still worried of the existence to get reversed and everything around him to be nothing but lies. Creating his own reality somehow was fitting into his mindset. Instead of creating it inside his head he just expanded onto stage. And even though he was acting to be someone else, there was always a glimpse of Tweek shining through. Just now Craig thought this was the reason he liked watching him so much. He was the universe, it didn’t matter which role he played there was always Tweek inside.

“Also the same role is never played the same way by different actors; everyone has their own interpretation of a character. It’s really fascinating to explore this. To explore the characterization and mindset of another personality. You get to think about what’s inside other people’s head.”

Eventually Craig came to get an answer at the current labyrinth Tweek offered. It wasn’t therapy that helped him the most during that one year but all the consideration he put into the effort of acting and being good in doing so. He used it as a tool to work at himself. He had problems beyond being fifteen years old but he didn’t let them dictate his life instead faced them every day and put them into their place just as good as Tweek Tweak could. Craig was stunned by his braveness and felt himself suddenly so small.

“Sometimes it’s bothersome … actually at the beginning it was totally bothersome. I thought those characters entered my head and where messing around. I heard voices, you know…”

“But you didn’t quit.” Craig praised.

“Yeah. Well, mostly changing into another character is refreshing. I came to realize that all of this is just inside my head. All the fucking time. Things are real because they are inside my head and my brain is producing proteins and shit and makes all of this seem real, while nothing is.”

“You think so?” Craig asked. He had problems to follow up once again. Was Tweeks mind about to get lost again? He sounded so conscious while leaving ground.

“Yeah, that’s biology man… My brain produces my very own perception of the world. And your brain does the same, except it’s _your_ brain. Therefor the perception is as individual per person as we all are.”

“Okay.”

“That’s actually pretty stressful. All things are just inside my head leading to the conclusion that everything is as real as it is unreal. Oh crap.”

Fuck. Craigs stomach clenched again. Tweek was running wild into the labyrinth and Craig was watching numb from his standpoint somewhere on earth.

“uh, Tweek-“

“Well, then again this is pretty comforting.”

“-How come?” Craig blurted out hasty and confused. What the heck was Tweek even talking about?

“Because I don’t need to worry anymore... It reminds me of Schrödinger’s cat, or when the guys discovered fantasyland. It is real but it is unreal, that means there is no conclusion and while this answer is unsatisfying as fuck it’s a bit comforting, ‘cause it means it doesn’t matter in the end.”

Tweek went silent and Craig blinked processing what he had just explained. There was yet no sense he could get out of those words and after a while of silence Tweek appeared to realize Craig wasn’t following behind.

“Oh- I’m sorry if this is confusing after reading about Platon in philosophy last year I got carried away and read a lot of articles online. It was pretty insightful.”

“Okay” Craig answered. He never read anything about philosophy. It was strange to listen to Tweek talking about that stuff. He couldn’t decide if it was a good thing or a bad one for Tweek to have such thoughts. Then again he seemed still as calm, relaxed against Craigs chest, no fear nor panic. For whatever absurd reason uncertainty could be reassuring, Tweek was fucking calm. And Craig thought again he was like space, uncertain, infinite, a million stars combusting, which, indeed, was absurdly reassuring.

And as it sometimes happened, when being friends with a creature that good byes reality and indulged into the vagueness of life’s definition, he came to reconsider his own perception. The boundaries were laid so ambiguous and if he was to close his eyes and concentrate on Tweeks touches and his soft spoken voice he might was able to flee away from reality and slip inside Tweeks head. Just the way Tweek had panicked those characters would do. And he wasn’t sure if he would really want to take the risk, as for anything horrible could be hiding behind any other corner of Tweeks maze, there still was the high possibility for him to land between stars, if he was to miss aiming the moon that was Tweek, if he was to enter the space and galaxies that lay behind that little keyhole through which he was watching.

“Besides… uhm, you know, the acting stuff.” Tweek added, fidgeting in their hug. ”You’ve been always there encouraging me. Watching and commenting on what you liked and giving me your insights about what I could do better. I like that… a lot.” He lifted his head. “It really does add up to the fun.”

Craig leaned back only so far they had a chance to look at each other, but neither did. For some reason he felt his cheeks becoming warm.

Furthermore he felt like he finally understood something.

“And that’s why you skipped today?”

Tweek nod his head.

“Jesus! I’m sorry Craig. I know you would never pur-p-posefully hurt me, but I couldn’t s-stand it. The idea of you w-watching t-two hours and … uh!”

His hands covered his eyes and a slight tremble jittered his shoulders. Quickly Craig pulled him back into their hug.

“Hey, dude. That’s totally understandable! I wouldn’t want some trustless laser guns directed towards me as well! I should have considered this. I’m sorry you missed rehearsal because of me.”

“I-I was j-just so sc-scared.”

“Tweek, you could have said something, I wouldn’t have minded.”

“I-I didn’t want you t-to h-hate me”

“Dude, I would never hate you! You beat yourself up again, didn’t you?”

“Uh, well…”

“Didn’t I tell you to call me _before_ that happens?” the tension rose again but then Craig sighed because this was the wrong approach. He pressed his lips into a thin line and squeezed Tweek even tighter. Despite all his improvements and his narcissistic insistent nature, he still had some backfalls of doing too much for the sake of other people.

“uh- I meant next time you call me earlier okay?”

“It was in the m-middle of the lesson.”

Tweek had used the whole afternoon to beat himself up into that poor trembling figure Craig had to help to pull together again. That was not how things were supposed to be, god damn it.

“Then you text.” He added as if it was that easy. Maybe Tweek doubted Craig’s trustworthy just like he did himself? Was there any use in asking the source of the fears to help calm even those down? It was an absurd request. And then it came into his mind that was the tactic of anxiety counseling in therapy.

“Tweek I want to help you, you know that, give me a chance to do so.” He tried to hide his frustration but he had no acting skills. He gulped, considered and then added, “I’m also scared, but I’m working on it, okay? I won’t stare at you and I will warn you if… and I will tell you every, uh, progress I make, okay?”

Tweek nodded again.

“You know, your teacher had to play your roll and she really sucked, so don’t skip again, okay?”

“okay.”


	6. Friendly Neighborhood Thunderstorm

One hour before his alarm would ring Craig woke up. Something was odd, he couldn’t tell if he just had a weird dream or if it was apprehension of what would happen next in this crazy town. Nonetheless his first reflex was to use the bathroom, so he powered up his bedside lamp and walked through his room.

Once he came back he had to shake his head figuring out if he might still was dreaming. His window was opened and a broad body stood there not good visible against the dim light. Craig rubbed his eyes and slowly recognized the fat dude in front of him was wearing a furry mask, furry ears, claw gloves and a cape.

“So, Craig, you are Mysterion?!”

Craig still was too perplexed to react.

“I knew it!” the fat boy continued and while Craig still had no idea what he was talking about he at least suddenly realized the heck that was going on.

“Cartman?! Fuck you! Don’t just break into my room!”

“Hh!” the fat boy hissed arrogantly, “I’m not Cartman, I’m the Coon! And you’ve just been at Walgreen’s rooftop with me. Why else would you still be awake, Mysterion!”

The burglary victim looked at him in his most unimpressed attire he continuously wore. “Dude. Asshole. Leave – my – room. Immediately!”

The Coon started to snoop around Craig’s room to look at the floor and inside his drawer.

“Dude! I said leave!” the Noirette enraged.

“I know you are Mysterion, you have laser eyesight, why wouldn’t you dress up as a superhero. Where is your costume?”

Craig groaned yet tried to stay calm. The risk was too high for his eyes to betray him so he tried to focus on his breath coming and going evenly. Fortunately his body stayed relaxed, it seemed as if his powers were still asleep or something. At least this one fucking time he was save, hopefully.

„I know puberty is messing with all our heads, but don’t you feel pretty immature dressing up and playing to be a superhero? Aren’t you a bit old for this shit?!”

“I’m more mature than any of you. I’m important to this city, Craig! I’m a symbol to this city. Times are rough, Craig. Economy is going down, crime rates are rising and political change didn’t happen. This city needs protection and I’m here to clean out the garbage! – ”

“Yeah, well fine”, Craig interrupted “Could you, like, just leave now? I’d like to get that last hour of sleep remaining before school, ‘kay?”

“Well, well, _Craig_.” He emphasized at his name, “Then I guess, good night?!”

“Yeah. Whatever.” He shoved the fat dude to the window and waited for him to leave before he closed it. He then crawled back to his bed, not falling asleep but pondering about how to get his window burglarproof.

Once he realized there was no way to fall back to sleep he opted to take one of his I’m-not-masturbating-it-just-takes-me-thirty-minutes-to-get-my-hair-washed showers and examined his ordinary small human eyes at the mirror again.

Half an hour later the newspaper at the kitchen table he sat revealed a photo of Mysterion. The Question mark that wobbled at the elastic spring at his head was so ridiculous it was actually funny. Furthermore he wore his underpants on top of his costume, it was hilarious. Despite this town being a nuts house, this was so stupid that he actually thought of it as amusing.

As he went to school his feel of apprehension got worse. There was a Peruvian pan flute band only twenty yard from his house and they were staring at him when he was passing.

“La Muerte Peluda” one of them said in a whispery voice. It made Craig’s neck hair stand up and he increased his speed.

This was worse than any horror movie. Those bands made their way from the mall and have found him! A million thoughts went through Craig’s head and all of them lead up to a horrifying conclusion. He tasted a disgusting plaque at his tongue and his hands clam. There was a cold breath at his skin hovering down his spine and the tensed apprehension of something grim happening any moment as if dead was standing right behind him.

Did they know about his eyes going wild? How did they found out? Okay, that was a dump question, in small mountain towns news got viral as fast as the flu. Nonetheless he wondered if they were stalking him. Was it inevitable for him to talk to them? Maybe if he closed his eyes and ran fast enough he could pretend they weren’t there.

He already did do something; he already did make an effort and started training and all. Even though it was ineffective and he had no idea what he was doing or if it worked out. That was more than he had ever done, just why wasn’t it enough? Who had fooled him over into this responsibility without any money-back-guarantee? There were certain things he had sworn to never get near or do again and talking to plan flute bands was for fucks sake the number three on that list.

When he had gone half of his school way there was another Peruvian pan flute band. They stared at him with the same terrifyingly intense eyes. Knowing, demanding. He tried to avoid to look at them, just passing by as fast as possible.

“La Muerte Peluda. Tienes que ayudarnos.”

Fuck. The real question was what they wanted from him but he didn’t intend to talk nor listen to them. He just wanted to get over the damn school day without having to think about all of this just for once.

After all it wasn’t that easy with Cartman running through the schools hallway talking about the coolness of the Coon, wondering who he was and aggressively accusing people to be Mysterion. At least he wasn’t blaming Craig alone but like half of their class to have that other identity.

The day just became worse and uneasiness remained within Craig and crawled inside his bones as it rejected to get shook off. He felt numb like a potato bag that was to fall over any moment while also at the edge of exploding into a supernova of violence. He had not enough middle fingers and growls to express his hate at the world.

During lunch break disappointment stepped at Craig’s feet and simultaneously hit him with its elbow into his chin. A fictional fist fight with Fortuna he was willing to convert into reality if he didn’t knew he was to loose anyway. His sluggish body moved unfamiliar. He found himself in the restroom when the feel of thousand needles running through his veins jolted him awake. His vision flickered blue, it all happened too fast and before he had even a chance to guess what to do his eyes betrayed him. His curses where just as loud as the shatter when blue bolt hit the restrooms mirror that burst. The whole day had been frustrating but at that moment he felt wrecked just like the mirror was. His eyes jittered at the aftermath and he held onto the sink as if to prevent his shuttered pieces to break apart. Distantly like the streets when he sat at Starks Pond he heard Cartman yell at him he should stop showing off his powers and that he was shitty in hiding his secret identity.

After sitting at the principals as effortless as always he was send home. His way home a game of dodging pan flutes bands. At least they didn’t follow him when he passed by.

 

Nevertheless the day wasn’t finished to play unfair and beat a man that was already at the ground. When he entered his house his denial betrayed him.

“Hey latrino, c’mere, you want to see that!” he heard that little brat of a sister yell from the living room. Since the Latino fad she kept calling him all racial insults she had overheard during that time, just because his skin was tanner than hers.

“What do you want, daywalker?”

“They have close ups from Stripes’ relatives at the news!”

She pointed at the television screen and Craig’s eyes opened wide when he entered the room. This time there were no blurry pictures, rather a clear image of that huge furry thing. A huge guinea pig, dressed in black and white stripes. The reporters’ voice told about how he broke out of jail and was on his way west from Washington where it had been imprisoned. The army force was there but the guinea pig restrained any attacks from pistols so far.

Craig gulped. La Puerte Meluda. The Furry Death.

He remembered vividly the giant fruits and that guinea bee thing. That thing ate the two guys from Homeland Security that brought them to that damn place. He remembered the guinea pirate. And oh, yeah, how his eyes had paralyzed that guinea pirate thing so he got imprisoned. How this whole Pandemic thing and his stay in Peru had been accountable for him getting his powers in the first place.

He sighed and let a desperate giggle slip through his throat.

He was fucked.

“What’s wrong retard, going crazy?” Ruby lifted an eyebrow at him but he ignored her.

All of it kind of made sense now. It’s been pretty obvious since he first heard that news on Friday and he was able to deny it till now. Defeat hit his body like a slap. He just didn’t want to deal with that. Was that what the pan flute band tried to tell him today? He could plot out the whole storyline inside his head, just exactly the way those stories took in South Park and every detail sounded awful. Talk to pan flute bands, team up with them and stop the last oversize guinea pig, might even be taken back to Peru for that case. Fuck. Nothing he would strive to be doing. Even so there was no use in ignoring any longer, the pirate guinea pig, apparently the chief of that weird tribe, escaped prison and his powers went crazy. Both things happening at the same time was most definitely not coincidence.

Fuck you.

Everything inside him refused to actually take action. The only thing that kept his shattered pieces together was the deafening yell his innards shouted through his skins pores. Yet his mind stayed alarmed that he would have to. He knew that chief would leave pandemonium and possibly more guinea pigs would appear and everything was about to go downhill again. He knew, but damn. Why was he called responsible to that? He wanted an ordinary life, in an ordinary town, with ordinary people. To unbothered live the days plain and boring without importance, doing stuff he did like playing video games or making funny video clips. Fate just hated him, didn’t it?

He went upstairs still cursing, dropped his bag and fed Stripe who fortunately stayed the same adorable squeaky companion he always had been.

Then he left.

 

***

 

“Stop growling.”

“But why me?” he whined. He sat beside Tweek at the blondes’ bed and looked at the ceiling while the other read his theater script for the millionth time.

“Do you know how often I ask myself the same question?”

Craig sighed partly because Tweek was right, but also because he yet hadn’t even told the news. Tweek must assume he was upset of the accident during school and stayed surprisingly calm. Just a day ago he was still terrified but that was because he had let his thought-ghosts haunt him.

Craig got lost in him through the corner of his eye. His hair a fluffy mess and his cheeks redder than usually from the warmth his coffee provided. He took another sip from it before he sank into the script again. His lips he wetted with his tongue formed the words he was reading without letting any voice out. His eyebrows would raise or crinkle while his mouth corner hinted a smile or frown. Craig never noticed how perfectly shaped the round bottom lip contrasted his firm upper lip. He turned the page when Craig looked at the wall in front of him.

“Can I hold your hand?” he blurted before thinking about it.

“Jesus!” It was Tweeks squeaked reflex to make known he was surprised; he then hesitated before deciding his answer would be a chuckle.

“I’m not allowed to look at you, so can I hold your hand instead?” he repeated this time with certainty and ignored the slight blush on his cheeks.

Tweeks mouth corner formed that hint of a smile again. His hand slowly reached for Craig’s that was anyway lying just an inch beside his. Just as cautious they intertwined their fingers. Tweeks hand was warm and his fingers somewhat lumpy.

Once he felt Tweeks skin rough yet so tender against his nervousness climbed up from his hands over his shoulder spreading across his body. Immediately he looked at the other side to avoid Tweeks sight in his eye corner. He was calming down Tweek all the time, so wasn’t it natural for Tweek to do the same for him?

“This is sort of gay.” The blonde chuckled nervously.

“It’s not.” He exclaimed, “We cuddle all the time. Why is a dude wanting to hold the hand of his best friend gay? Chicks do this all the time.”

Actually this was pretty gay and he got more embarrassed then he thought he would get. Shit.

Tweek squeezed his hand, “hey, I was just joking.”

He smiled one of his sweetest smiles portraying honesty and affection. For the same reason he laid his script aside. He finally had realized he should put his full attention towards his friend if he wanted to help him.

”I’m not used to calm you down, you kn-know. N-Normally it’s the other way around. Sorry.

Besides, you are allowed to look at me. You said you’d warn me before there would happen anything, so…”

He didn’t finish his sentence instead tilted his head at his knees to look at Craig. He played with Craig’s fingers inside his clumsy hand. His fingertips felt rough against Craig’s slender limbs from his bad habit to bite at them and tear his nail beds. There was no sign of his previous fear left. He even seemed to cope with the situation better than the noirette. And Craig wondered what character was out there in literature that Tweek could have studied to reconsider himself into being this calm. The night sky image displayed a new mystery and Craig felt unable to indulge into it since he was heavy with cement shoes.

“Just don’t stare, okay?”

Craig gave his friend a quick smile but still didn’t dare to look at him. He deliberated if he should talk about his sorrow of that huge guinea pig breaking out of prison. Of the whole storyline he could sense hanging above him like an axe ready to hit his throat. He wasn’t sure if Tweek knew about it. The possibility was great he wasn’t watching or reading news, so he didn’t get too much caught up on that shit happening all over the planet. On the other hand it was just as plausible he consumed news as if it was coffee so he was the first to hear when his fears of the world ending any moment would get confirmed.

“You want to hug?” Tweek asked sheepishly.

“No, this is fine.”

“You want to talk about it?”

Craig’s eyes wandered through Tweeks room. He heard his own heartbeat hammering his ribcage and felt his hand getting hot. Something inside his stomach shifted and a brief moment he panicked but then he realized his eyes stayed normal and there were no bugs crawling. In addition his body wasn’t that heavy. So this sensation couldn’t be because of his powers. The only thing that tickled was his fingers Tweek caressed.

He hesitated but then asked anyway, “Aren’t you scared?”

“I am!” he said too quickly, “I mean… a bit. But it’s okay.” There was a pause, silent filled with breathing and Tweek tilted his body weight from his left to his right side back and forth deliberating his explanation. “I mean, uh, it’s not … not more than usually.”

Well, ‘usually’ was a variable word. However there was none of Tweeks typical signs, no stutter, no tremble. The blonde came to rest his weight at one spot and closed his eyes. No, this wasn’t ‘a bit scared’ if Craig didn’t knew better he would say Tweek was eased. Just then he wondered if he himself was to get paranoid right now by the thought of Tweek knowing something he didn’t.

“You’re pretty naive. Tweek”

“What do you want me to do Craig?!” he snapped, “Should I be all messed up like yesterday? You like me better when I have a mental breakdown and you can be the big macho?!”

Okay maybe he wasn’t at ease, maybe he was just trying to pretend he was. That kid changed emotions like he buttoned shirts. He always skipped the reasoning. And with that, just now, Craig had troubles to evaluate reality.

“No… no. That wasn’t what I meant.”

“You’re an asshole, Craig.”

Fuck, Tweek the drama queen. He quivered, he fucking quivered. Was it that much pressure? Was he just acting like he was calm? Did he race another rabbit and just right now it had hanged itself in the lair?

“God Tweek, calm the fuck done. That’s not what I meant! I’m just worried and confused and really, really frustrated. I mean you heard what happened today. I just don’t get why you’re so calm, I mean–“

He bit his lip before he was to blurt out what he was about to say. That he couldn’t control shit; that nothing had changed since the day before and that he was dangerous. And Tweek had all reason to be scared and troubled and everything else than calm. On top of that the next catastrophe was lying ahead. That he felt numb and dumb and fooled over and everything was just so fucking wrong. How it was just unfair that Tweek was so calm when he himself was plagued. How he felt betrayed that the roles were suddenly reversed. He exhaled sharply and felt their hands still intertwined, but his was cold and gummy and foreign.

And because Craig was silent Tweek continued “I’m just trying to be a good friend, okay?! You think I’ll leave you alone with this shit? Of course I’m scared, you idiot! When am I not scared?! But I w-will tell you if it’s too much p-pressure. Jesus!” he muffled some curses and his broken noises he did when he was searching the words to explain himself.

“Oh” Craig stated “Yeah. Okay, I just … okay. I’m glad you can stay this calm” he finally declared and decided to not further question how Tweek managed to be. For all Tweek was trying to do his best as a friend. He did his best to calm himself down and on top of that calm Craig as well. And actually his best was really fucking impressive. The noirette felt a delicate feeling of happiness overshadowed by the weight of debt. Tweek was the best, the very best friend one nonchalant person as Craig could wish for. And because he wasn’t able to convey his gratefulness for Tweeks braveness, his friendship, consideration and him just being there he twisted into another direction instead and ruined the whole scene. “But I’m a fucking mess, okay?!”

Fuck. He shook his head of his own idiotism. Should he be honest and just tell all of his conflicts? The struggle to accept his damn fate he wanted to continue to stay ignorant about. Even through it would increase the pressure there was no use in hiding anyway, Tweek would find out soon enough. Yet he wanted to ignore it some longer even though his body went heavy and he felt a tickle streaming over his skin. Crap.

“Sorry.” Tweek said in a somewhat rhetoric and still honest manner. Even though he really wasn’t the one to apologize and the debts weight crushed Craig’s lungs, while Tweek went back to his strangely pretend but just so real calms and closed his eyes again. Silence dispersed through the room and laid a layer of desperation over the noirette.

Again there was only a glimpse of the big mystery that was Tweeks mind. Craig tried not to question it further since he had enough conflicts on his own to run like a hamster about. They were still holding hands. And even through his was alien, Tweeks touch was familiar and warm. And this was comforting. Yet there was this damn tickle and a beat drumming in his ears. He tried his best to breathe evenly and focus. His eyeballs felt normal, his body felt light, and his hand went warm again, oh and tickled. That was something completely different than he had expected.

Thus his mind raced once again. He wasn’t to combust any minute, was he? His bones and muscles seemed to be for once fitting into his skin and all his organs were in place, except his heart and stomach going wild. It was fucking strange and almost as scaring as the bugs crawling he had expected to feel. And while the thought of having to actually deal with this whole guinea pig and Laser eye crap made his stomach twist, the thought of Tweeks hand inside his own made his stomach flutter. It came to his mind he should stop his brain stirring before he got seasick. Before it could for whatever strange reason result in his eyes combusting after all. With a groan he finally hid his face inside his free hand.

“Sure you don’t need a hug?”

Finally Craig’s head turned to face his friend and from Tweek instantly pulling over for said hug he could only assume his visage must be pitiful. And it wasn’t until it happened that he realized just how much he actually needed it.

“It’s okay Craig, it’s only been a w-week since and you just started to learn about how to c-control it. Don’t be so hard on yourself, dude.”

He smeared his face across Tweeks shoulder, as if to wipe down his nervousness, finally finding his necks crook. His back was uncomfortably twisted, there was warmth the places they touched and still too much space between them.

“Things take time, trust me.”

Tweeks hand caressed his necks hairline as far as his chullo allowed, cautious as he ever was and Craig sighed. At least his eyes weren’t to combust any moment; if he himself would he didn’t knew.

“Maybe I should accompany you on your training? Since Clyde and Token are such bad teachers?”

“Won’t it be too much pressure?” his voice muffled against Tweeks neck he instantly regretted his question.

Tweek hissed shortly, disapproving. “Well, you aren’t aiming at your t-teachers, are you?”

Their still intertwined hand was slowly becoming sweaty. Craig breathed against the heat of Tweeks neck crook leaving goosebumps at Tweeks skin. He closed his eyes, this was cozy. It felt different than when he was the one hugging Tweek and being the one to be comforted was a refreshingly new sensation that was worth some further exploration. His throat formed once again his unnoticed purr that got stuck at his palate never passing through his mouth into the world.

“Unless they annoy me, yeah.”

“You see, no need for me to panic.” His voice singing like a bell transformed smiles into music.

Craig shifted his back into sitting more restfully. Yet too much space between them.

“Can I stay overnight?”

“Oh Jesus!” Tweek jumped in surprise, “We’ve g-got school tom-or-row; our p-parents will get mad.”

Craig inched against Tweeks chest and wrapped his arms around him. He had no intention to let this opportunity go without making full use of it finally being at the receiving end of line. Their bodies squeezed against each other. Tweeks hand kept caressing his neck, it was slow but steady even though he had startled him just a minute ago. Craigs thumb drew circles at Tweeks sweaty hands’ back.

“Please?”

It was an unfamiliar word Craig normally didn’t use. He was not socially enough to care about good manners. Being polite would mean to actually put effort into being liked by people but Craig wasn’t sure if he considered this worth the trouble. Actually in his weird head it was even a thing connected to pride and rebellion that he as a maverick didn’t have to participate in social conventions as to use words related to being sympathetic in any way. Nonetheless he knew Tweek and how to persuade him. When it was something serious even Craig could beg without feeling his pride harmed.

“K-Keep that for o-our parents, I’m not the p-person who is in charge, dude”

“I’ve become a victim of burglary this morning.” He told despite the risk to frighten Tweek. Craig felt the blonde stiffen then shudder and mutter “Jesus”.

“It was Cartman dressed up as the Coon accusing me to be Mysterion. I just don’t want to get waked up this night the same way, you know?”

He tried his best not to sound as pitiful as he felt, torn between his need to get comforted and his stubborn pride to maintain his façade of coolness.

“Oh my god! He b-broke into your r-room?”

“Yeah. That asshole.”

“He is!” Tweek agreed before he shook his head, “b-but t-then won’t he come here t-too?”

The noirette raised his head just so far not to break their hug and looked firm into Tweeks alarmed eyes, “No he won’t. It will be okay. How would he know I’m staying here anyway?”

Tweek exhaled audibly, “yeah, o-okay…” he said and breathed out once more in his instantly calming manner.

“…You’re right” he stated, “Well you s-still need to persuade our parents.”


	7. Give me back my underpants

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had so much fun with this chapter :)

An air bed lay at Tweeks ground, he got fresh bed sheets and one of Tweeks big and one of his small pillows. He planted on the air bed and snuggled into the pillows that smelled like Tweek, flowery but with a tone of coffee. He could only suppose Tweek used a girl’s shampoo and maybe that was what made his hair so fluffy. The Lights were already out except of his nightstands lamp and a chain of lights at his beds foot.

“Craig?” the blonde sat at his bed with a new mug of coffee. They just had eaten dinner. “A-Are you Mysterion?”

The noirette burst into a chuckle. The bed wobbled underneath him.

“No. What makes you think that?”

“Well you got superpowers. You could totally be a superhero, I mean, w-why not?“

“I’m not so sure how blowing up things with your eyesight would be helpful to anyone. Don’t you think I’ve got more of a supervillain?”

He had lied to the Tweaks they still had a project for economics that was due the next day and would take so long it would be convenient if he could just stay overnight. It was easy to persuade them since Mr. Tweak thought of economics as most important.

However he had to go home to get his schoolbag and toothbrush (Tweek insisted on him not to forget the toothbrush) and his parents weren’t happy by his idea at all. All his old man talked about was how they couldn’t pay if Craig was to burn down another’s person home and how they should have started on that project earlier. Craig left with his father still yelling at him.

None of this mattered now that he lay next to Tweek who chuckled like a chorus of bells. He was calm as if the past two weeks hadn’t happened. This time Craig was sure it wasn’t just an act.

“I would totally rock as supervillain!” he exaggerated.

“What would you do as a villain?”

“Demand everybody to obey me obviously. Well I’d rob a bank or something and then move somewhere less annoying. Maybe I’m able to summon giant guinea pigs and be their lord.” Ouch. He shouldn’t have said this. It only reminded him of his problems and making fun of it kind of helped but kind of made him more helpless. And feeling this way made him want to cuddle Tweek again.

"What would my name be?" he then continued their story resisting the urge to nuzzle his head into Tweeks neck crook. Breathe in his warmth, which perchance was more effective against anxiety than Tweeks medication, and then breathe out all of his misery before breathing in again some more medicine.

“Uh, don’t know, Dr. Stare?”

Craig chuckled "you’re not very creative.”

“Hey!“ He made a pondering sound then suggested, "Master of Stare, Lightning Eye … Thunder um… Staring Electric …? Electric Stare… um … Can’t think of more. Do you have any better ideas?"

"Not really" he grinned, “I liked Electric Stare the best I guess.”

Since he was permitted to look at Tweeks face again he did, he did a whole lot, and it was embarrassingly gay. He tried to be discreet but Craig was just so plain and obvious, observing the constant rosy tone on Tweeks cheeks. The thin lashes fluttered pleased when he took another sip of his coffee. His mouth corners curled a little smile when the coffees taste ran down his throat.

“Not Lightning Eye?”

“Dunno.”

“Will you take me with you, when you move away?”

“Of course dude!”

Tweeks wandering eyes stopped when he saw Craig watching him and the sincerity in them darted into the noirette. Caught by surprise from the sudden eye contact he had to look away. His cheeks felt way too warm.

“Uh, that, if you want to.”

“What about Token and Clyde?”

“Yeah, all of us, Jimmy as well and Jason if he wants to. We’ll build our own country. You’ll create my speeches or something. And I’ll order a law to get you free coffee.”

“That sounds nice.”  

He sounded nervous and out of his visions edge Craig saw him observing his own room again. Although he was Mister Stone, monotone and tedium, he was bad with hiding now; he had to watch the blonde. The dim light revealed how Tweeks baby fat made his rosy cheeks soft and round, there was no edge where a sharp shadow could fall. Even his nose bridge was pretty flat and his nose a cute little button. A rather perky but still smooth jawline framed his delicate features. He was boyish but puberty yet hasn’t granted him some more testosterone so he also looked a lot like a doll. Except his dark cycles under his round eyes, his freckles and one lonely pimple covered by his fringe. But then again who cared about those once he wore his smile not only with his lips but also his eyes.

“You’re staring.” He commented without looking at Craig for one second.

“Oh, Sorry.” He scratched his heads back and averted his gaze towards his feet. The red and white Red Racer socks he wore let his pinkie poke out through a hole in the knitting.

Craig continued with a small grinn “Clyde can be like doing advertisement, you know? Come to the dark side we have cookies and shit.”

Tweek chuckled, “I think Jimmy would do better at that job.”

“So what should Clyde be doing?”

“Dunno. Hang out just like we do?”

He took the last sip of his coffee. His wrong buttoned shirt then revealed a bit of his torsos skin as he leaned to put the mug on his nightstand. And out of impulse Craig marveled over every little movement Tweek did. The way he was overly cautious when placing the mug at the middle of the nightstands surface so it had no chance to fall down. His slow movements when he leaned back into his previous position. How his hair shifted when he ran a hand through it.

“Uh, Craig?”

“Yeah?”

“It’s save right now, right?” his eyes flinched looking everywhere except Craig.

“Yeah, totally save.” Craig stated casually nonetheless averting his eyes. White washed-out socks were the best alternative to look at when to avoid watching an angel sitting next to him. His cheeks yet didn’t cool down.

“Good.” Tweek exhaled in relief and without missing a beat he wondered “We need someone to clean out all those guinea pigs waste.”

“Yeah. We could force Cartman to do that.” the idea of Cartman surrounded by mountains of guinea dung was pretty enjoyable.

“But then he would be part of our new country and would life somewhere there. Let’s just pay someone from the banks money.”

“Uh! Then I’d have to rob another bank, like, every week.” He jiggled his foots pinkie; it was stressful to lock his eyes away from his best friend.

“You could blow up the waste with your powers…”

“That would stink terribly.” Craig made a face, awful idea.

“We also need food for so many Guinea pigs.”

“Uh, guess I’ll need to rob a lot of banks. We need to build our country somewhere were a lot of banks are.” Oh fuck it, he allowed himself to look at that blonde, it was safe, he himself had said so, so nobody’s gonna hurt from just one second gaze.

“Or were a lot of plants grow. Besides, why robbing a bank but then pay for the food?” Tweek added.

“But pay someone to clean out the waste?” Craig countered and both laughed. It’s been a week he had seen Tweek laugh. He always opened his mouth so wide his teethridge was showing and his eyes tightened into slash’. The giggles danced through the air vibrating inside Craig’s belly, he felt light, fitting.

“Right” he then added and looked away before Tweek would remind him to do so.

“Would I be a supervillain, too?”

“I doubt. You’re too good for this.”

Tweek growled and Craig grinned.

“Maybe you are Coffee Bean? You’d put something inside the coffee that makes everyone addicted and you’d make it totally overcharged or something?” unintentionally his eyes wandered back at his best friends’ expression.

“Uh, but t-that’s mean!”

“What did I say? You’re too good for this.” His cheeks hurt from smiling, Tweeks face beat his expectation.

“I bet Clyde would be too good as well… Token wouldn’t help either, he’s already rich.”

“You mean I’d have to do the whole work alone?”

“Seems so. Uh, sorry?” he chuckled.

A moment of silence emerged. Both content with their fictional alternative life of being bank robbers and guinea pig shepherds. It wasn’t that unrealistic though.

“Do you wonder who Mysterion is?” Craig interrupted after a while.

“A bit”

“You think he is cool?” Craig teased grinning.

“He is! You have powers yourself, so it’s not impossible he has some as well? With all this c-crazy stuff happening in this town you never know. Maybe he could do something, you know, help people or whatever.”

That was naive yet damn cute.

“Let’s play some video games?” Craig suggested.

And while they did Tweek told some new details of his conspiracy theories. They even got more logical over the years and Craig couldn’t tell anymore if Tweek was making that stuff up or if there was a chance for his theories to be true. After all Tweek had a point, in this town you never knew.

***

  
In Tweeks room it was dark. Eyes opened or closed everything was just black. At the windows the curtains surely did their job. Only a glim of light was there at both sides of the fabric hanging, yet the glim wasn’t enough to reach into the room to make anything visible. So there was no surprise in blinking his eyes didn’t chance his view that much.

A bit puzzled he tried to recognize why his eyes were open to begin with. A muffled noise came from his left side somewhere were Tweeks bed must have stood when he was still able to see. Another noise of tippy little feet’s and muffled voices was on his right side. He blinked his eyes again trying to recollect whether he was awake or still dreaming. A screech that cut into the room made Craig remember what had woken him up.

"Tweek?"

Craig moved to sit at his still wobbling air mattress. By the sound of his name the blonde screamed a second time. His breath echoed in the darkness accompanied by his teeth clinching against each other from his hard tremble. Tweek must have had a nightmare or something and his anxiously whimpers must have woken him up.

“Tweek?”

“Gah- oh god! Craig?!”

Yet there was still another sound in the room of fabric ruffling and tiny little steps. Was there music playing? Something got toppled over. What the fuck was happening? A short moment Craig missed Tweek's nightlight he had used when they were kids, before he crawled over his mattress stretching for the nightstand to get some light into the darkness. Tweek gasped in surprise of the sudden hurt that was photons streaming through the room giving noises an image. Craig saw his friends trembling figure all messed up. His hands tucking at his hair, rings under his eyeballs darker than usually indicating he hadn’t one minute of sleep so far. He put one hand into his mouth chewing his nails while his teeth were still clinching. His stare focused on the other side of the room. His guests’ eyes took their time adapting to the photon shower before he finally decided to look at the direction Tweeks eyes pointed instead of at Tweeks obvious terror. So he turned his head to face Tweeks dresser and whatever horrifying he would encounter.

The noises of tiny steps now got the picture of tiny feet’s taking tiny steps. The noises of ruffling fabric now got the picture of little hands gripping at what was inside the dresser. The little feet and hands belonged to little bodies. And the little bodies were dressed in green trousers, red shirts and a sharply pointed hat. Most of them had beards making them look like old men besides being only the size of Craig’s favorite physics textbook. The little men were grinning joyfully while doing their job that was taking whatever fabric out of the dressers drawer. Then again it wasn’t any fabric but only the undergarments.

Craig blinked. After all these mythical years he finally saw them himself: the underpants gnomes! So Tweeks tales have been true the whole time! Craig had to blink another and a second time and even to rub his eyes before he turned his head back at his friend. Tweek had curled himself into a ball again. His sheet pulled over his head and his hands wrapped around his knees but still managing to tuck at his hair when his face was buried between body and knees. He made noises like a beaten dog while his tremble almost shook his bed.

“Tweek?”

“Gah! Shit.“

From one second to the next Craig went from confused to pissed.

Those damn tales were true and here they were torturing his best friend. He suddenly felt shitty. Despite him trying to be a reassurance for Tweek for so many years up until now he never thought of the gnomes as real. Since Tweek only started to talk of them after a sleepover with Stan and those assholes he thought they had pranked Tweek and ever after those were part of his nightmares. He should have known better for living so long in this lunatic palace. It was still the city of South Park! Nevertheless it was a town that served happenings just the way the cafeteria served dishes; there was no way to distinguish between reality and hallucination.

Just then Craig realized he’d been ignorant throughout the whole time. He had undervalued Tweeks state of mind, he rather believed Tweek to be hallucinating than gnomes to be real. Yes that dude did talk about a lot of things that seemed to be unrealistic as fuck but his out of body experience state of mind he seemed to have didn’t justify to believe in him being crazy.

Craig got confused, just were should he draw the line between realism and insanity? And at which position did he stand on that line? He felt parts of himself missing again, his skin that always fitted to tight now was to loose, hollowed out and he was to collapse. The only thing remained was the ghost of a strange longing for the reassurance that was empty spaces inside a universe of labyrinths.

He also didn’t know which medicine Tweek took, hell he didn’t even know the doctors official diagnose of Tweeks illness. So much for being Tweeks best friend. What a hypocrite he was! Acting like the world’s best bestie while being oblivious about the obvious. He’d been too occupied to not give any fucks than to actually do his job as a best friend.

It came to Craig’s mind, all the what-ifs and possibilities of each and every story to be actually true. Every ‘hush it’s been just a nightmare’ and every fantasy, daydream and all of the metaphysical things imprisoned into gray cells to be true all along. The implication of Schrödinger’s cat, of Tweeks cat, that the only illusion was the boundary people tried to construct.

It was quite possible that a person Tweek knew for real once got replaced by a robot and he was totally justified to question his friends’ authenticity. Maybe it was a friend he made during his four weeks hospital stay he had when he was twelve. Perhaps Tweek once was abducted by aliens and they were watching him now wherever he went and all of his anxieties were just the aftermath of having post-traumatic stress disorder. His convulsion caused by the nerve endings the visitors cut through when they sliced through his fragile skin to get a look at his guts for whatever perverted fun it served them.

It was hard to focus on reality when there was no guarantee to ever know for sure what was real. When there was no guarantee for what happened to Tweek when even his own bedroom during nighttime wasn’t safe.

Fuck. What if that’s just the time and place it’s the most dangerous for Tweek? Maybe the monsters under his bed came through a portal every night and forced him to scratch his arms so he could feed them his blood. Maybe the CSI had placed a camera at the door, disguised as the door, and if he didn’t open it the correct way, if he touched the surface at the wrong angle, they would get mad and tell the aliens so they would come back and do horrible things to the little blonde dude crying out of every crack of his soul in a sad attempt to fill the gaps and glue him into one piece again.

The little men were singing along while taking Tweeks underpants. Just then Craig decided he had enough. Real or not it was time to payback!

“Hey!” he yelled at them, not knowing what he did, all he knew was he was angry “What do you think you’re doing?”

„We search for something.“

„Underpants?!“

„Yeah“ one half of them chorused cheerily while Tweek groaned again. One of them with red hair frowned and said: „That’s none of your business.“

“Stop that!”

The Gnomes hesitated “… Stop?” one of them with a gray beard asked.

“Yeah, those aren’t your underpants! So put them back into the drawer!”

“Nah, man” one of them disagreed, “Leave us alone, we do big business.”

“Business?!” Craig hissed.

What the fuck.

“C… Craig?!” he heard Tweek whisper but was too focused on those weird little men to answer him.

“Your stupid three step business plan which is lacking step two?!”

“We need to find that –“ but the Gnome got hushed by the red haired “he doesn’t need to know that.”

“It’s not stupid.” One of them that had his hands inside the drawer countered.

“It is!”

Just, what the actual fuck.

“We need to talk with the blonde.” The red haired stated, ignoring the whole discussion.

In the background Tweek muffled “Jesus!”

“No. Fuck you!” Craig roared earning angry looks. They were stealing his underpants for years and now they wanted to ‘talk’? This whole situation made no sense at all. His whole body tensed and he clinched his fists slowly standing up from the mattress. “What do you want from Tweek anyway?!”

“Just step beside and let us talk with him.”

Tweeks bed squeaked from him standing up yet Craig kept focused on the gnomes “No!” he growled.

He felt energy swell up inside him, the bugs crawling over his body and a voltage sting through his veins. And damn, it felt good! He wouldn’t let them torture his friend any further. Talk to Tweek, his ass! He didn’t trust their intentions. He heard Tweeks steps move to the wall were the closet was behind him.

“We need his help.” The red haired stated. Craig didn’t believe him one word.

“What for, stealing his underpants?!”

The bugs increased their speed and he wanted to feel it and concentrated on it. He felt the force stream through him, the tingle everywhere and desperately led the pressure towards his eyeballs. He felt strong and strangely real and in control, as if time slowed down and the second stretched to an immeasurable extend. The dark room went blue when the first spark crackled his eye corner.

“We need his bazooka” the gray bearded shouted.

Tweek whined “Oh God.”

“WHAT?!” Craig screamed, but it was too late.

Was everyone insane? Stealing underpants, accusing Tweek to own a bazooka? What the heck was going on? Well, it was too late to stop his anger and ask them to explain their nonsense. He didn’t want to listen to them anymore anyway. Each of his cells was filled with power, electricity rushed through his veins into his head and he knew exactly what to do with it. The gnomes seemed somehow puzzled but had no chance to move before the lightning stroke.  A load crack sounded and the sensation left Craig’s whole body covered in goosebumps. The laser beam hit the little men and utterly destroyed them. It was as fast over as it had begun. They were roasted. No underpants or bazookas for them. Craig shivered from the pleasure that was pure control.

The room smelled terribly like burned flesh with a little tone of wood. Tweeks dresser was scorched, only the top drawer wasn’t burned when some blue flames slowly smothered and were gone.

 


	8. Keep running, the Furry Dead is right behind you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So today is my birthday (9th march) and I decided to update both of my stories as a present for both you and me :)  
> Comments would be highly appreciated (come on, leave me a present :D)  
>   
> aaaannnd I have to say a big ass thank you @CaptainDude (HandbagMurder) for listening to my ramblings and giving me your insights and discussing plotpoints and headbunnys with me, it's always a pleasure :)
> 
> this is a long chapter, enjoy :)

“Dude, that was so awesome!” Tweek cheered.

He smiled in response. It wasn’t at all awesome, it was awful! Then again Tweek was freed from the gnomes and that little victory most definitely was awesome!

During lunch time Tweek ecstatically recount the whole story towards their friends. Since that unfortunate day they had curry during lunch time he sat beside Craig instead of in front of him, giving the sight free for Craig to look at Stan’s table were Cartman scowled him. Craig grinned and flipped him off as an answer, as if he cared for Cartmans’ opinion.

"Wow" Token said impressed “You did blew them up?”

“Why didn’t you invite us to your sleepover?” Clyde whined.

“Well, yeah” Craig answered with a shrug at Token, keeping up his cool façade and ignoring Clyde.

“th-that’s not t-true?!” Jimmy exhaled in disbelieve.

“And you didn’t get scared?” Token asked the blonde who shook his head.

“No man! Why should I? Those gnomes deserved it!” he seemed so happy his whole face smiled.

“No, seriously! I wanted to see that too!” Clyde hadn’t dropped the topic, yet neither reacted as they were already used to his whining.

Just then it came into Craig’s mind that all of his friends underestimated Tweeks state of mind. Even though those concerns were justified it was mean as it did baby Tweek. And Craig found himself with a notion that it was a shallow question as possibly they just asked out of habit to make sure, but not with the intention to actually take any action if the answer was a negative. It was disappointingly alike that game of asking ‘how are you’ the adults played when meeting, where you were expected to always affirm.

Though it was strange to encounter the gnomes just at that moment. Craig wondered why he had never seen them during any of their other sleep overs. And he wondered how often they did appear. Tweek had talked about them a lot when they were eleven and twelve yet sometime he stopped with that topic and Craig couldn’t for the sake of god remember when it was.

However, he yet had no explanation of that thing with the bazooka as well. Did Tweek really own such a violent weapon?

Oh fuck.

Double oh fuck, those perverts were stealing underpants, what if they meant ‘bazooka’ as euphemism for something totally different. For something twisted and perverted? That couldn’t be. Craig’s head went red and he was surprised he even could come up with such thoughts. He couldn’t possibly ask Tweek what those Gnomes were talking about. His eyes locked with the table and he thought what a good thing those perverted pedophiles were roasted.

“How did you explain your parents?”

“None of them believed us the story of the gnomes. There were even body parts lying around” Craig answered with a little pitch in his vocal range.

"Gross!" Clyde interjected his pitch even a bit higher than Craig’s.

Last night after Craig’s latest little accident Mr. Tweak woke from the noise and entered Tweek's room. When he surprised but strangely peaceful asked what happened Tweek stumbled over his own words when he explained how the gnomes just got grilled. The boy was so excited and happy, there was no sign of fear or terror as just a moment before had been. He didn’t even seem to bother that Craig had burned down half of his clothes and part of his room. Moreover he didn’t even seem to bother that Craig had committed a murder!

Tweek's dad brought himself and the boys coffee Craig didn’t drank, before he listened to the story disbelieving, even though the smell and some body left overs did evidence. He nodded his head and said something along the lines of approving the story and told them to be more careful. He didn’t seem to be angry, he was as unfazed and politely smiling as Craig had always seen him and made some statements about coffee that didn’t really have anything to do with what had happened.

Obviously Mr.Tweak had to call his parents and his dad insisted on him to come back home. Their parents didn’t talk with each other that long. Mr. Tweak seemed somewhat understanding since they were only little boys and shit. There was something shady about the way Mr. Tweak never seemed bothered at all, Craig couldn’t trust his calm. Or rather he hated it. He hated the way in which Mr. Tweak didn’t care about Tweeks sanity or his safety. He hated the way this man didn’t care for anything besides coffee.

“So you’re grounded?” Token asked

“Obviously” Craig shrugged.

He also got an ear full and his allowance annulled for till all those bills would be paid, so with other words, forever. However seeing Tweeks blissful face was worth it. He was willing to kick anybody’s ass who intended to upset Tweek. (Including Mr. Tweak if he had to)

Even through Craig wrecked half of Tweeks room it was a little victory for him as well. He had commanded his powers by his own will. For the first time it hasn’t been an accident, for the first time he felt in charge with his own life. And slowly it came to his mind like a puzzle placed together; it was worth to make an effort.

“So we won’t go to Starks Pond today?”

As less as Craig gave a fuck about his parents’ rules, on Fridays he was dependent on their merci. His parents couldn’t effort him his own television; they had only one device within their whole home. It was okay though, they were on welfare since Ruby was born and as long as he could watch his shows or play games when friends came over it didn’t matter. It was only a problem once he and Ruby or he and his dad, or worst case, all three of them would fight about what to watch. And this was most likely to happen on Saturdays when the whole family decided to life a bored teenagers’ lazy day, because Ruby was too impatient to wait to hit puberty and his dad was so old he might not even remembered how nonchalantly time passed by before he encountered the harsh truth that was living a dull salesman’s life.

“I want to watch Red Racer today.” He shortened down his self-proclaimed explanation he wasn’t obeying his old man but had simply better things to do. “Tomorrow.”

His friends knew about his dad being an intimidating person considering his heights and displeasured gaze but even though he was stubborn he lacked the ability to enforce his will on his children as they were just as bullheaded. Thus their arguments always ended with them flipping each other off and Craig doing whatever the fuck he wanted. So nobody questioned him not obeying to being grounded.

“I want to join” Tweek added “I want to see your electric stare again, it was so cool!”

“L-L-let me join, t-too.” Jimmy agreed.

They all seemed so excited.

Craig shrugged but his lips betrayed him in curling into a smile. Tweek didn’t make any negative comment since Craig murdered off his enemies, on the contrary he was gratefully celebrating.

It was safe to assume he wasn’t scared of him anymore; certainly this was even better than having control over his laser powers which was the best thing happening to him since he got his camera at his 13 th  birthday. He felt the need to touch him somehow, anyhow. When he felt his stare had stretched time too long he decided to touch through a hair ruffle and received a smile as response.

“You should totally dress up and join Mysterion in saving the city, dude!” Tweek proclaimed.

Clyde was totally on board, “oh yeah! That’s gotta be so cool! Mr. Killing Stare!”

“Na dude, I already told you I’m going to be a super villain!”

“Yeah, we got the whole plan plotted out yesterday; Jimmy you’ll have to do advertisement.” Tweek blurted.

“I d-do?” Jimmy asked but got interrupted by Clyde, “why don’t I get to do that? I’d make Placards: Join the Chullo or be roasted! P.S. we do not have cookies unless you bring some!”

The group laughed. Apparently Clyde wouldn’t be that bad in advertisement.

 

***

 

Back home he came to think he might burglar into his own room so he wouldn’t have to be troubled by the displeasure of seeing his parents. Well, that would be useless considering he planned on sitting in the living room half the day being exposed to any possible attacks from bloodthirsty dinosaurs ready to hit his most vulnerable spot: the television device. Being a teenager most of the time was daring. There were too many weak points, too much second-hand control and too many responsibilities burdened but not enough free space to get a personal way on how to handle those.

Also too many insecurities from all the changes ones’ mind delivered with a hit to the balls about the threatening daily horror that was finding out how to function and be a fucking person. Not even to be an adult just to be a person first so the other things could fall together once grow spurts would come to an end.

He then found out the hot spot that was the family couch was empty just as the kitchen and the garage. Ruby talked something about Mysterion and a fight before she left as well. Home alone, a nice teenagers dream he was suddenly part of. Ensconced on the angular couch with a bowl of chips and Stripe running up and down his belly he enjoyed not only his favorite show, but the reveal of the towns’ conspiracy to not stay at home tonight. Mysterion had a fight with Professor Chaos and the whole town was crowded around the jobsite were a lot of TNT was gathered, except of Craig of course. Finally he could watch breaking news without the fear of seeing a huge guinea pig. Instead his classmates dressed in stupid costumes were 'fighting' each other. Nice.

In the end Mysterions’ true identity got discovered and with that another crazy plot involving South Park came to an end.

However playing with Stripe trying to forget his troublesome week and enjoying the thought of two days off, the noirette knew the next disaster would start just the next day. It was the way things went in South Park, waking to people going crazy and city parts getting destroyed was just as daily routine as scratching your balls. As every night he indulged in the thoughts of his only future plans he would actually make the effort to plan ahead that was moving out of this damn town as soon as he got the chance.

 

***

 

On Saturday Craig rang the bell at Tweek’s house. He patiently waited for what felt like forever before he decided to ring again. He had to wait for another eternity while really it wasn’t even as long as his first wait. When Tweek finally opened he wore the same shirt he had the day before and even that day before. The buttons were closed differently than those previous days even though they weren’t buttoned correctly. He smiled at Craig a bit wearily and after their exchange of greetings the noirette lifted his right hand showing off the bag he was holding.

"I brought you some clothes. You know, since yours are... burned and stuff."

Irritated Tweeks eyes moved between Craig and the bag.

"Oh" he finally exhaled.

Craig could read from his expression how he had forgotten that conversation about Craig lending him clothes and it just dropped into his head again.

"Okay" he then added and opened the door some more so Craig could come in. The house was silent and empty as during that pretty early time for a Saturday, that was noon, his parents already were at work. Tweek took the bag and with a rushed apological smile took it upstairs. The stairs creaked and Craig stayed in the hallway and breathed in the familiar smell of coffee, wood and cleaner while he rested his hands inside his jeans pockets and waited.

When Tweek disappeared inside his room silence stretched through the hallway and Craig’s shoulders twisted without his consent. He felt uneasiness climbing up his back and through the deafening silence a rustle tiptoed towards his ears. However when he turned around he found the hallway empty. He looked around but no one was there. Yet he thought he was hearing something familiar he had but heard only once yet and tried to tell himself it was just Tweek inside his room. Just then he thought to smell burned flesh underneath the layer of citron cleaner.

He looked around his still lifeless surroundings, before closing his eyes and concentrated on the things he heard. Distantly the clock ticked in the kitchen, the quiet of emptiness hummed and something else. Something very sneaky and Craig couldn’t define what it was but the thought of it vaguely sounding like little feet tiptoeing and garments rustle made his neck hair stand up. The hallway yet was empty and when he opened his eyes the creak of the stairs reappeared.

Tweek came back wearing Craigs grey raglan sweater with dark blue sleeves he had put into the bag together with some other clothes. It was a bit too long at his hips but wrapped tight around the curves of his belly and the sleeves were exactly the correct lenght for Tweeks oddly long arms. It didn’t fit perfect but it would do.

It was strange to see Tweek in something that wasn’t green and his heart made a sudden jump of seeing the blonde in his clothes. Tweek had some black and grey outfits he rarely wore as he liked green clothes the best and thus just now his porcelain skin in contrast to blue and grey had a different color than usually. Tweek smiled at him his hair ruffled from tugging the sweater over his head and his cheeks the familiar rosy tone despite his skin being less colorful than usual. Nonetheless his emerald eyes shone like they always did.

Inside the back of Craig’s head a stupid implication crept up people could assume of one person wearing clothes of someone close to them. At the same pace warmth crept up his cheeks and he shook his head to get rid of them when they left the house and as always Tweek chose not to wear a jacket.

They grouped up with their other friends at Tweak Bros’ as it was the most centered house within South Park. And Tweek disappeared inside to grab a coffee to go before the whole group went to Starks Pond together.

On their way they encountered another remix of “La Muerte Peluda” and his friends gave Craig strange faces while he tried to ignore the whole fuzz.

“Bro, you already have a fan club!” Clyde stated, but got flipped off by Craig, “shut up!”

“La muerte peluda está en camino. Solos no podemos detener la muerte peluda.” A person of the pan flute band stated, his pal emphasized “Por favor, tienes que hacer algo!”

“Yeah, whatever.” Craig wanted to just leave as fast as possible like he had done the previous days.

“Por favor!”

“You understand them?” Tweek asked.

His gaze seemed bothered and Craigs subconscious demanded to take his hand but his conscious stopped him and answered instead “No.”

“Y-You should –nh– listen!” Jimmy interrupted. “They want your help. The F-Furry Dead, s-s-sounds familiar, doesn–nh– ‘t it ?”

Fuck.

Just why must Jimmys second language be Spanish? Was it too much to ask to be allowed to stay in a self-made bubble of fake harmony and fuck offs?

“Furry Dead?” Clyde asked and Token answered, “The incidence with huge guinea pigs three month back.”

Craig groaned.

Fuck.

“Craig, dude, did you watch the news? That big pirate guinea pig broke out of prison.” Token stated but then his face lid up enlightened, “that’s why your powers went crazy! The dates sync, he broke out and terrorized cities the same time your eyes did the same!”

Yeah, thanks for pointing out the obvious, asshole. Besides Token knew about the news but only yet got the conclusion? He didn’t deserve the nickname Holmes any longer.

Gasps were tossed in their group, Clyde had his eyes widened they would fall out any moment.

“J-Jesus!” Tweek muffled while grabbing Craig's arm.

“Uh…” was all Craig had to say at this issue. If he wouldn’t have been so annoyed by the circumstances he would have felt wobbly from Tweeks touch. Instead his fears of the storyline of any science fiction novel he’d ever read to become real for him was freaking him out.

Craig tossed his feet to increase his steps length; be gone as fast as possible. Still hanging at his arm Tweek yelped while desperately trying to follow up. It was kind of cute how he refused to let go off Craig’s arm.

The rest of his group followed as well.

“Hey Craig, wait up, don’t be pissed. It’s good we found out about that, now we know!” Clyde tried but failed to cheer him up.

“The Peruvian pan flute bands could help you to get control over it!” Token reasoned. And oh god, Craig wished he wasn’t that damn correct.

“You know what? I don’t fucking care!”

Then he heard Tweek say “Craig, calm down” and suddenly he stopped his feet. Looking defeated at his friends’ green eyes he regretted his whole life up to this point. He couldn’t stand his commiserate look anymore and viewed his other friends, but Jimmy was missing. A gaze back to where they have come from revealed he was talking to the pan flute band.

For fucks sake.

“You said you need more training and we don’t know shit, don’t you think they could train you better than we do?”

Fuck, why was it, Token always had so good arguments?

“I just … really don’t want to be involved with Peruvian pan flute bands, like, ever again.” Craig confessed, he looked at the ground because he knew it was useless. He wasn’t even sure why he was still fighting it. Because of his damn place three of his never ever again list? Was he just a whiny irresponsible douche? Or was he scared?

He shuddered of the prospect there was no way for him to run from his fate. Even his friends made no secret of hating him.

“Oh come on Craig, that’s dumb! You’re saying burning down your pals’ houses and the school isn’t a pain in the ass?”

Craig shrugged.

“Come on, let’s go back to Jimmy and find out what they said.”

He stood there like a tree digging roots into the street. Even through just a day before he thought it would be worth to make an effort, just right now it wasn’t worth anything. Was there no chance for him to deal with his eyes without talking to the band? He had managed to conduct it against the gnomes by will, he was fine! He didn't need training form that damn Band!

His Body ached from his weight increasing exponential with his revulsion. That broke physics law but he couldn’t apologize to Lomonossow and Lavoisier for they were dead for 200 years so he couldn’t care less.

He sighed heavily, “No.”

He was scared. God damn was he scared. And doing something else then his hypocritical attempts in ‘training’ would acknowledge this. He would have to face the inconceivable. Look into the ugly eye of dread. Why was it his skin never fitted around his body? His hands cold and sweaty and his feet dunk into cement once again.

“Stop whining” Tweek said calmly, “You don’t have anything to loose Craig, so at least try it.”

Fuck you. That little bastard with his angelic voice and innocent smile used his own sayings in a slab you in the face convincing combination of adamantly puppy eyes and appropriateness against him. With that manslaughter argument he trapped Craig while cutting out all his chances to prevaricate. Any excuse Craig could make up would be torn apart by the cheeky dollface with persuading words he himself once had spoken.

He took his moment to scowl that smartass who was still smiling innocently but visibly satisfied with his victory and Craig considered strangling him with his phony halo.

He wasn’t as brave as his friend. There was not even a little glimpse of the courage Tweek had written within each of his corpuscles rushing through and feeding all of his physique with boldness found nowhere inside of Craig.

How would he? He was but just one little dull daydream someone dreamed when class was too tedious and would forget about when the ring bell. He didn’t fight anxiety and terror on a daily basis and he never mastered how to life in the mind killing state of constant worry. How would he ever know how to confront and survive the dread that was laying in front of him?

Oh, this was awful. Craig wanted to punch himself in the stomach and his guts did him the favor to feel just as beaten without him actually taking action.

No, he hadn’t the ‘privilege’ as Tweek to get his life torn off his ribcage every night. Did he really just complain about that? His throat suffocated from guilt and angst mixing up to give him the most toxic kiss. How could he dare to be envious of Tweek and his problems? Fucking asshole Craig. Though it didn’t change the fact that Tweek was courageous and Craig an idiot.

“I-I’m here – We’re all here for you, it will be okay.” Tweek added just as gentle. He was endearing in his demanding manners and Craig saw himself fail to refuse him anything. Even though he felt paralyzed and incapable, Tweek squeezing his arm made him feel strangely comforted. And he came to think he liked to be comforted by Tweek. If he was with him there might was a chance for his shining armor to reflect and cast a little glint at Craig. He wanted to hold on to this belief.

He exhaled a load frustrated sigh before emphasizing the first syllable when finally giving in, “fine.”

 

***

He had a problem.

A big motherfucking hits you with a brick problem.

And it wasn't even him sitting like a moron with his gang and random pan flute fools at a porch at Starks Pond. Their babbling in words that were so foreign they could easily come from another planet and Jimmy tripping over each and every consonant trying to translate Chinese (It was Spanish but he couldn’t tell the difference anyway) into Jimmese only added to his new problem he just encountered.

Well he already had a lot of shit going on and could definitely think of better ways to get his afternoons around. Like playing video games, procrasturbating his homework, playing with Stripe, maybe even finally getting control over laser gun eyes, that meant, on his own.

All eyes were on him like he was the new attraction on the local zoo, he felt them like blades. Except of that he felt nothing. At least nothing of what he was supposed to feel. His tense was caused by being the center of entertainment and his tingle was caused by Tweek encouragingly rubbing his back. His thought of having to confess the murder of fictional men shrank to the size of his footprint one day to this fuzzy thing that called himself god, or rather to Damien's dad since he didn’t believe in heaven anyway, gave him a sense of guilt so strange it just dropped down inside his body. It landed at the wrong side, not the left but his right foot and during its fall it stopped somewhere at his knee by a forgotten feel of embarrassment and humiliation. Once it landed on his body’s ground he just did as he had done with the forgotten feeling, he put a big layer of ignorance over it.

Except that there was nothing of the things he was supposed to be feeling. No bugs, no pressure, no electricity. Craig thought this was for the better. He really didn’t want a crowd watching him kill some sleepy worms under the snow.

Nonetheless his mind was captured by another problem troubling him. He could ignore his friends and the Spanish gibbering even through it was bugging him in the back of his brain but what really caught him was another thing he couldn’t ignore any longer.

Tweek was cute.

He was the way of cute that made his heart flutter like when he was planning on riding a rollercoaster on the next Super Phun Thyme. It made his stomach flip over as if he had been on that rollercoaster three times too often. And then Craig thought his teeth hurt and his tongue was covered in plaque as if he was to buy way too many of that strangely colored sugar that was on sale every other corner.

It was a soft but sticky feeling like cotton candy until it got stuck all over his face. Or the lump at his throat from having chewed too many Jelly Beans which tasted like sweaty hand holding, gentle back rubs, soft warm lips breathing his name, no homo cuddle sessions, nervous chuckles and one bean that tastes like roasted old men hiding somewhere between them.

Tweeks cuteness made his face hurt all over as if he won the grand prize at throw the can and laughed too much at the ugly prize so his muscles got sore. Tweek was cute it made Craig think and wonder and forget everything else.

And of course Tweek had always been cute but right now it was just so apparent. In the thin line he pressed his lips together to cope with the pressure of having so many noisy people around. The way his knuckles went white when he squeezed his cup of coffee before he took another sip and fluttered his eyelids.

It was cute when he pressed his eyes together in a yawn while his lumpy little fingers gave shivers over Craig's spine. The way he shyly but tenderly had the need to always be physically invested with Craig. His smile obviously, every time he realized Craig was looking at him.

He had that little shine that got reflected from him Craig had hoped for but never thought would be so dazzling.

There was no way to concentrate on laser beams when his thoughts were riding a rollercoaster together with such a little cutie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked this ^^°  
> Unfortunately you'll have to wait some longer for the next update. I need to wrap my head around how to play out the details of some certain plotpoints, and according to them chapter 9 might change and so I can't upload before those things are clear and yeah oô  
> So I guess it will take me around two month or something to figure that stuff out as also my next semester starts soon and stuff. (the next three chapters are already written and this will be around 15 chapters long. Ones ch9 is revised and the plotpoints are clear I'll might be able to go back to a weekly update)


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